The big four-O

I am not big on special days, but for the sake of peace and order, I have learnt that I should never forget my wife’s birthday, our wedding anniversary, the kid’s birthdays, the specific time, day, weight, weather, name of midwife on duty, billing details, meals ordered in the hospital during their delivery. I have even gone further and familiarized myself with the news headlines for the day, the hit song reigning that month and a hundred other details during the week they were born! You never know when your claim to serious parenthood will be called to test! My auspicious days however rank very lowly in my list of priorities. So when it was time for the significant 40^th birthday, I had no illusions that it would be any different from all the previous 39.

My family, however were busy plotting behind my back about a surprise birthday party. Actually it was Georgina and Gregory at the centre of the conspiracy. Natasha was excluded after her loyalty and ability to keep a secret longer than a minute was questioned!

So on the morning of my birthday, which was a Sunday, I was woken by Natasha’s scream rushing towards my bedroom with her brother hot in pursuit and attempting to gag the incoherent words coming out of her rapidly and breathlessly. Poor girl had just woken up and as is her habit, stumbled to the sitting room in search of the television when she bumped into the two conspirators putting candles on a cake in the sitting room and putting together gifts! So much for the surprise.

I was pleasantly surprised and thanked them profusely after I had eaten the cake and sang for until Natasha was hoarse. After church I was treated to a sumptuous lunch in a 4-star hotel. How I wish every other day was my birthday. I don’t know how I will ever repay them for making my fortieth so special and different.

My friends had no qualms using my aging as the butt of their crude jokes. I was honoured with a month-long celebration and will do my best not to let them down. I am the first in my circle of friends to turn 40, though at least another four or so will follow in quick succession in the next six months. They can rest assured that I will be at hand to “celebrate” with them! Any untoward action on my part is now met with retorts of how I am expected to behave my age. A few are now questioning my faculties on account of “age”! In response, I can only demand that that the “elderly” deserve to be respected!

Some of the advice I got for my troubles included:-

• Lovemaking tips for older persons - Put bifocals on. Double check that you're with the right partner.- Set alarm on your clock for 2 minutes... in case you doze off in the middle.- Set the mood with lighting. Turn 'em ALL OFF !- Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin... just in case!- Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember what to scream out at the end.

• Our brother has turned 40 years old today. He is the first of the brother hood to turn 40. He opens the door for many others to follow. A pioneer in his own right.

• Happy Birthday and Long Live Raphael. As they say Life begins at 40. The man has just started living.- Signed

In response, I said; Guys, Thanks for the felicitations, I look forward to the next forty with enthusiasm in the knowledge that with friends like you, it will be bearable and lots of fun. I hope to see the universal request to all younger people to “respect their elders” being put in practice. Below I share some fine quotes on the subject of growing older. Enjoy.-Signed

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~Mark Twain

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Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier, New York Times, 9 October 1960

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Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

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A man's age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, grief’s and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man's age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell

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A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~John Barrymore

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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright

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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope

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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. ~Caryn Leschen

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Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush to the net. ~Franklin Adams

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Everyone is the age of their heart. ~Guatemalan Proverb

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We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse. ~Author Unknown

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Old age is fifteen years older than I am. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

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To be seventy years young is sometimes for more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

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From forty to fifty a man must move upward, or the natural falling off in the vigor of life will carry him rapidly downward. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

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Life is one long process of getting tired. ~Samuel Butler, Notebooks

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. ~Author Unknown

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At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment. ~Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac

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A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. ~Oliver W. Holmes, Sr.

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A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. ~Jean Rostand

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The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been. ~Madeleine L'Engle

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Youth disserves; middle age conserves; old age preserves. ~Martin H. Fischer

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One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless. ~Liz Smith

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Men at forty

Learn to close softly

The doors to rooms they will not be

Coming back to.

~Donald Justice, "Men at Forty"