What Jennifer Did- A movie on Netflix.

                                               Image Courtesy of Netflix

Jenifer Pan is an only child of Vietnamese immigrants living in Markham, Toronto Canada. One night she reports to 911 a home breakage by three men.

Hann Pan the dad is shot and in a coma while mum, Bich Ha Pan is shot  dead.

Back story. Jennifer lied to her parents for four years that she was in university studying pharmacy. She did not qualify for university.

Jennifer Pan was an average student. She did not perform well in school. She was a constant disappointment to her parents.

They did not trust her to make the right decisions. One of her bad decisions was a relationship with Danny Wong a fellow school band member. She started dating Danny in high school and the relationship was not approved. Her parents were restrictive. They did not want her to date him because Daniel Wong had become a drug dealer and probably not anything close to the son-in-law they had hoped for.

This Netflix documentary tells the story of what Jennifer did. Sadly, after interrogation by detectives, her story of events of the night do not add up and she is soon arrested and accused of her Mum's murder and her Dad's attempted murder. She is charged along with her ex-boyfriend.

It turns out that she had planned the murder of her parents to get out of a situation she found herself in. She had lied about her grades in 12th grade. Which led to another lie about her four years in college.

She did not tell her parents that she failed her 12th Grade maths and did not graduate high school but she made a fake diploma. She fakes her University admission and 4 years later they believe her. She lied that she got a full scholarship to study pharmacy.

No one knows where she spent her school hours for 4 years. She perfected the art of lying and faking her life.  She even faked moving closer to Toronto University to be near school for her final two years. Supposedly she is living with her female friend but in reality she is living with her drug-dealing boyfriend. They fake the graduation certificate too.

For me, the big questions are; were the parents too strict and controlling? The Dad expected her to be a doctor despite her low grades. She wanted to study kinesiology but she did not have the freedom to choose. They wanted her to get into Toronto University but she did not get the necessary grades. Ryerson University was her only choice but even that was too steep for her and she was not admitted.

There is a likelihood that Jennifer may have had a genetic disposition to lie or be dishonest. We may not know this because the documentary does not explore that line. She may even have inherited that from one of her parents but that is not the angle taken by the writers of the
documentary.

Pressure to succed from parents.

My take, is that the girl may have acted the way she did because of pressure to excel exerted by her parents. It is common for Chinese, Indian, African or Latina immigrant children to excel and dominate in some sectors in Western countries.

The same is common in Africa and specifically in Kenya. Some parents set very high bars for their children. Some children are prepared from early ages to aim for courses like medicine, engineering, technology, law and so on.

If such children do not have the requisite IQ or inclination to pursue the chosen courses, many suffer from resentment, abandon the courses and opt for different courses or drop out of school altogether.

Sad as it is that a life was lost and a family broken forever, this is a good documentary to watch for parents and prospective parents.

Let me know what lessons you take from this.

Men With Female Names: A Yoke Around Gikuyu Men’s Necks?

Image courtesy of https://openart.ai/

Lately, we have had a healthy dose of debate on the uniquely Gikuyu phenomena of naming children after their mothers. On social and mainstream media, prominent voices of influencers and public discourse commentators have lent an opinionated voice to the matter.

Some have explained the matter, others have ridiculed the children, especially adult males, some have sought the cover of history and popular culture manifested in the community's pride carried by men's "love" of being associated with their mothers. It is almost made to look like all Gikuyu males love to be associated and identified with their mothers.

The truth of the matter is that this emanates from the high prevalence of single parents (read women) in the community. This can be traced to a seven-year period of the so called State of Emergency (October 20th, 1952 to January 12th, 1960) when the social and cultural fabric that held and still holds many other communities was violated systematically by the colonial government. The community has since been broken, traumatised, demasculinized and feminised; hence the universal entitlement and herd-mentality masked as tribal superiority and nationalism the community suffers todate. There are many other Kenyan communities with single female parents but rarely do you ever hear of their children named after their mothers. Have you heard of Kevin Mueni? Brian Nkirote? John Nekesa?

It may seem like the government's agents tasked with persons registration have a different brief for Central Kenya. The birth certificate is very clear that a child's male and female parents are necessary, and space is available for their names. What is the purpose of tying a man's future to his mother and not his family name. Every child belongs to a lineage and specifically a clan. There is no child without a father; whether he is acknowledged, present and wanted, or not.

Some have argued that in the cases of divorce (which existed even before colonialism came to our shores), a maternal uncle was expected to fill in the cultural role of a father by mentoring his sister's son. In culture there was no void. Why not name the boys after their grandfathers, uncles, or clan names? If the purpose of a third name along with the family's origin (sub-location, division, district/county) is traceability, in 2024 we have technology associated with mobile telephony that can do that easily and cheaply without perpetuating indignity on a whole generation.

Whereas the local Chief could trace any citizen originating from his area, by the family name in the 1960s; rural-urban migration has since happened and for generations many families no longer associate with their ancestral or original homes. Infact searching or tracking the lineage of a Joseph Kamau Wanjiru whose current abode is Githurai, Kahawa Sukari or Lavington is akin to a needle in a haystack.

Female names in Gikuyu are limited to slightly more than the nine mythical daughters of Gikuyu and Mumbi. Male Gikuyu names on the other hand are plenty, colourful, sobriquet, anecdotal, territorial, fame-associated, event-associated, career-associated, descriptive monikers and easily traceable.

Think of Mukuhi, Muirù, Muriu, Mwerù, Ritho, Kaniaru, Njogu, Wachira, Mùtutho, Mùnene, Kòru, Mìgwi, Itotià, Chotara, Igana, Mwariama, Mugo, Munyua, Murìmi, Murìithi, Muthomi, Gitaù, Mùriùki, Ndege, Kairù, Mùkabi, Mùikamba, and so on.

Traditionally women had no fixed abode and could be married far and away from her relatives. It was an abomination to marry blood relatives in Gikuyu traditions. If indeed the government's requirement was for purposes of tracing lineage in case of an accident or a lottery win; the insistence on a mother's name lies flat on its face!

The colonial government needed every adult to be well known and easily traceable to a geographical location and family pedigree and hence all the details necessary then, including a thumb print. It was a humiliating political endeavour along with the Hut Tax and denying male labour access to their families while in forced employment. Robin P. Williams says, "Once you can name something, you’re conscious of it. You have power over it. You’re in control. You own it". If you name it, you own it.

Kipande, later a passbook was first introduced in 1915; worn on the neck by all Gìkùyù males like a dog leash. The tradition of humiliating the Gikuyu males continues unabated almost a century later. It is not enough that you cannot enter a building, get a service, be medically treated, withdraw your own money from a bank, be recognised as a human being and citizen without an ID; but we creatively find one more way to humiliate a Gìkùyù man by adding his mother's name to his identity!

According to Elvis Ondieki, the British abolished the need to walk around with an identity card in 1951. Identity cards were first issued to women in 1979/1980. Maybe before that only school and birth registration existed in government registers and not in a wallet-size document.

Is it not time we gave back these Gìkùyù men their dignity? Is it not time to stop de-emasculating the community's male adults. Is it not enough that the alcohol related pandemic , broken and dysfunctional families already plague the Gìkùyù community without loading them with an identity crisis. Is it not time to re-masculate and build back the communal and family blocks that is the traditional and accepted role of men as leaders and heads of their nuclear units. Is it not time to return the river to it's original course.

Is it not time for a leader or leaders to rise up and point the direction towards amending our laws and divorce them from the original colonial intent of humiliating and subjugating a people. Is it not time for a single MP in parliament to take up this healing assignment. Is it not time for the so-called elders to do more than slaughter goats and wear earth-coloured tunics in the name of kìama kìa mà (council of elders)? Is not time for them to use their influence and lobby their legislators to correct this psychological wrong that Gìkùyù men carry around their already burdened necks?

Who will give back the boys their dignity.