How To Launch Unsuccessful Political Campaigns

I have recently been invited to join at least three campaign teams of aspiring waheshimiwas a fact that woke me up to the possibility that I could make money as a political consultant. I usually don’t last or penetrate the core of such teams because I don’t bootlick and usually throw around very unflattering questions. I fancy myself as a realist and I never tire in giving the novice politician a dose of reality. Most are eager to join the political class on very flimsy grounds and hardly take time to undertake a SWOT analysis of their campaigns and chances. My advice to the budding politician usually takes the form of any of these hard questions in any order:- -Is it a calling or an ego thing? Are you sure THE people want you? -Have you ever examined the voters register -Have you reviewed past voting patterns -What are your views on political violence -Are you a liar -Do you have the ability to be unreasonable -Can you absorb and throw matope with glee -Are you an activist, reformer or manager -Are you a stunts man (can you hire a chopper for 700, 000 to take you to make a 150,000 donation to a village harambee?) -Is your family ready to join you in the journey? -How do you intend to raise campaign funds? Does OPM (Other People’s Money) mean anything to you? Most of the eager kurutis usually base their proposals/manifestos on a broad and vague platform with a liberal sprinkling of such NGO-ish terms like early child health; education standards, poverty eradication, economic empowerment and capacity building. Others talk of political empowerment and equitability, youth issues, marginalization, etc. Unfortunately, these are terms that only resonate with the minority elite that hardly ever votes. But again, isn’t life about experience, about having been there, done that and learnt that?