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Mrs. Ganya is a former school teacher. She retired when 55 years was the cut-off. She still felt energetic at that age and was not ready for village life.
Having spent all her working life teaching lower primary children Maths and Kiswahili; the contagious energy from her young charges had made her equally energetic and infused her with innocence and positivity.
She wanted to work some more. She got lucky and was informally employed to manage a catering business in a school. They did not mind her age. She was selling them her energy.
Eight years later she was ready for the village. Her children were all grown; with children of their own. She had a beautiful farm house, a running farm full of animals and crops.
Her children had bought her a car and the husband's pension complimented her's to guarantee a comfortable life where household and social bills could be taken care of ensuring a comfortable life.
They were the envy of their community. They had two cars, a beautiful home, successful children and healthy grandchildren. Their sunset years were now filled with family, farm, community and a few age-related aches here and there.
Nothing serious. Her blood pressure was under control and a monthly visit to top doctors in Nairobi did not interfere with her life. Ocassional travel for leisure and social obligations made her life almost adventurous by the village standards.
Then one day the husband vomits and is weakly. She insists on taking him to hospital but he refuses. The next day he is not able to sleep and is clearly not too well. She calls her son to try and talk some sense to the old man.
She thinks men are just stubborn. He has never been admitted to hospital. In fact he has never been sick, all their 45 years of marriage. He has never complained of any illness.
The son has some success and he agrees to go to a local mission hospital that is reputable before arranging to take him to Nairobi. Two days later he is still in hospital. They need to take some tests.
He is not well but he is as stubborn as ever. He is complaining like a forced prisoner. He wants to go home. But he is not well. The doctors refer him to a bigger mission mission for scans and MRIs.
Imagine a retired man who has never been inside a hospital. He is now being shuttled from room to room in a wheelchair; from hospital to hospital in an ambulance. Two days later he is evacuated to Nairobi.
He is not well and by the time they admit him in Nairobi he is losing his sight, organs are failing and half the time, they are dealing with secondary issues to keep his organs in shape for tests.
His liver is too dehydrated for tests, his kidneys are failing and need dialysis and so on. His sight comes back for a day but his memory is gone the next. He does not recognise the wife when she comes visiting. The son and daughters are looking after him as well as a private nurse watching him 24hrs. The doctors are communicating with the son.
Unfortunately, he never leaves the hospital and two weeks later he is relieved of his pain. Mrs. Ganya is is shock. It is happening too fast. A will is read soon. It has instructions on the burial- it must be held in three days time and not any longer. No money will be given out by mourners. They must be served proper refreshments when they visit for his wake. The same quality of tea he took daily.
This will was prepared six years ago. His eulogy is part of the will. He had pre-written it except the date of his death. He is buried in three days.
Mrs. Ganya suddenly learns that her son and daughters knew of their father's illness many years ago. During one of his visits to the city, he had been tested and found to have a very aggressive case of prostrate cancer that was too spread and at later stages. There was no need for treatment.
All he had to do was wait for his time. The family had decided to keep this information away from Mrs. Ganya. She was the emotional and dramatic type. She would have made a fuss. Maybe invoke too much god and religion. Maybe look for someone to blame. Maybe cause a fuss or two. Maybe make the oldman's final days unbearable.
Now that she knew this, she was unsure how to deal with it. She was guilty that she may not have handled a sickly spouse appropriately all these past years. She was wondering whether she had been good to him. Was she kind to him. Did she push him to much the last fee days. Maybe he had wished to spend his last days at home and not in hospitals chasing futile treatments.
She was not sure if her mourning should include the past days when he knew he was dying. She now looked at her children differently. She was now closer to her grandchildren than her own children. Why would none of them mention their dad's illness. After all it was her business. They did not trust her.
It is now three months since he has gone and her days are now filled with the ocassional visitor who was not able to attend the rushed final rites. She regales them with the final weeks of their life together. How stubborn he was. How she did not know about his illness and acted out of love and the goodness of her heart. Wishing him to get treatment.
They did not even place the mandatory newspaper or radio eulogies. Not many people knew of his death. Such a stubborn man.
Such a different man.
