Above The Din Of Life

Motorcycle Riding in Nairobi- A Lifestyle or Craze?

2012-01-11T16:36:00.000+03:00

The cheap Chinese and Indian bikes have revolutionized motorcycle riding in Kenyan. In every corner of this country, there are hordes of boda boda operators waiting at road junctions, town bus termini and every corner. Apart from boda boda operators, the motorcycle has changed the very essence of micro and SME set-ups. Farmers can now send milk and other produce to far-flung places, freelance service providers can serve large areas in a day and for leisure and social purposes many middle class rural families now have an affordable means of getting from point A to point B.

In the urban areas, there is a new revolution of motorcycle riding for lifestyle purposes. On any given weekend, you are likely to meet with a posse of bikers heading out to Naivasha, Magadi, Thika and beyond. These bikers have the financial muscle to buy the most powerful and technology laden machines available anywhere in the world. These bikers do not ride for a living, but live for the ride. In their other lives, they are astute business men, lawyers, managers, doctors, creative, pastors, entertainers, high-end mechanics, expatriates with a sprinkling of the petrol heads, rich and spoilt kids who can afford the lifestyle.

They are likely to be seen in the latest Harley Davidsons, Yamaha R1s, Suzuki Hayabusas, Honda CBRs, etc. The motorbikes they ride will set you back anything from half a million to 1.8million to acquire a second hand one from Japan, Britain, Dubai or US.

Some of the better known bikers include Pastor Allan Kiuna, head of Jubilee Christian Centre, Moses Nderitu, an enteprenuer in the sanitation sector, Arthur Igeria, a city lawyer and Charles Kimenyi a music teacher, Oyunga Pala a renowned columnist and DJ Stylez of Code Red DJs. A few other die-hard enthusiast have formed themselves into groups with a view to propagating the biker lifestyle. They include Outriders Association of Kenya whose members are known to offer outrider services to major road events. They are also participants in the Friday night basketball events held in Nyayo Stadium.

Another grouping with a following of about 1750 is Kenya Bikers who are active on Facebook. They organise rides to places like Narok for purposes of charity and recreation. If you put your ear on the ground and listen hard enough, you are bound to hear whispering about another mysterious community of kids who are into bikes for purposes of executing stunts and illegal road races. There is talk of large sums of money exchanging hands in outrageous bets. For instance the race record for Nairobi to Naivasha is 17 minutes while those who race further do Nakuru in 38 minutes. You hear of possible deaths caused in the chase for glory and fame within these circles. It is likely that relatives of the dead riders may not know the exact circumstances of their unfortunate deaths.

There are many other riders who do it in singles without joining any groupings. Many expatriates fall within this category and will usually bring in their high-end motor bikes into the country and sell them at the end of their tours of duty. You will likely find them around Gigiri and such other neighbourhoods. The other class of bikers are the professional riders who have grown on motor-cross tracks. Most of the young ones start honing their skills at a very early age and graduate into higher age-sets with time.

The one common thing with all these riders is that no expense is spared and the bikes are meant to make a huge a statement about who the rider is and their financial ability. They use the well-known brands in riding gear and accessories. Unlike the messenger and boda boda who wear helmets costing Kshs. 2,500, these class of bikers spend close to Kshs.120,000/= worth of in boots, helmets, riding jackets with full body armour, pants and a few other stylish gadgets meant to make the ride enjoyable like bluetooth communication sets and mounted miniature cameras to record every moment for purposes of sharing with friends and posting on Youtube.

So next time you look down on your rear view mirror and see a robot-like rider bearing on you at the speed of lightening and looking more like a lost MotoGP racer, make sure you give him the way; he could be part of a big posse out to beat a record.

"In My Life" by The Beatles

2012-01-09T14:26:00.002+03:00

There are places I remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

Life is a bitch

2011-11-16T09:46:00.000+03:00

"Life is indeed difficult, partly because of the real difficulties we must overcome in order to survive, and partly because of our own innate desire to always do better, to overcome new challenges, to self-actualize. Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavour"

- Albert Ellis, Michael Abrams, Lidia Dengelegi, The Art & Science of Rational Eating, 1992

Letting Go- The Challenge of Parenting

2011-09-23T07:39:00.000+03:00

Two Saturdays ago, Gregory’s school asked all class 6 parents to school for a 4 hour seminar. They didn’t disclose the subject of the seminar and therefore we didn’t prepare at all. Gregory, Georgina and I were in school on time and for the next four hours we sat trhough a very interesting session conducted by a lady called Terry Kaguchia from Bulbul Counseling Centre. She is one hell of a presenter- humourous and daring. She is a retired teacher who served for 33 years and is a mother and grandmother. As is common with people her age, she has earned the “license” to be blunt.

The talk she was giving was on how parents can prepare for the changes that pre-teens are going through as they transit into adolescence. The boys and girls each had a separate session elsewhere, but I believe the parents had the best of time. No one noticed the time fly past.

I took away from the session quite a number of lessons, but the most important was the poem below called “What a wonder”. Please enjoy…..

What a wonder

Your children are not your children.

They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls.

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

Which you cannot visit, even in your dream.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you

For life goes not backward nor ties with yesterday

Someone Please Let Us In On The Secret: Why Is Kenya So Alluring To Expatriates

2011-06-03T18:24:00.000+03:00

The Swiss Ambassador to Kenya, Uganda,Rwanda, Burundi & Somali, Mr. Jacques Pitteloud was recently on Jeff Koinage's Bench and remarked that Kenyans had no idea what a beautiful and blessed country we live in!

Havent we all heard that line before? Every Kenyan has a handful of foreigners they know that have decided to make our country their home for good. With about 60,000 mzungus who dominate rallying, large-scale farming, conservation ranches, tour and travel hospitality facilities, consultancies, etc in the whole country, we cannot complain that we have no more space for them.

Well known figures like Michael Joseph, Bill Lay, Steve Smith, Michael Renneberger, Edward Clay have in past been associated with schemes aimed at ensuring they remain in Kenya either by way of marriage to a local lass, work permits or in the recent past via the dual citizenship provision in the new constitution.

These are just some of the more prominent foreigner we know, but there are hundreds other less prominent ones out in the country side who have made Kenya their home. There is one called Twell in Chuka who leads a peasant's life on the slopes of Mt. Kenya. There are many others who came by courtesy of Peace Corps, holidays, gap year and a host of other reasons before deciding to stay for good.

So what makes so many foreigners make Kenya home?

Is it our pleasant weather? Over 300 days of sunshine can be alluring to a Briton, but is it a good enough reason?

Is it the low living costs that allow many expatriates to live like kings in palatial homes and spoilt by a host of servants?

Is it the segregated rich man-only neighbourhoods like Muthaiga, Karen, Gigiri? Is it true that most other African countries do not have the benefit of almost colour segregated neighbourhoods like we have in Kenya?

-Is Kenya's strategic location in the region? If that was the case, Tanzania would qualify on the same account? Or Uganda? What is strategic about Kenya? Location in relation to US, Europe? North Africa seems more strategic to Europe as the Caribbean is to US.

Is our claim of international standard facilities? The UN regional offices? What international standard facilities do we have? Are we a regional communications hub for airlines, roads or telecommunications?

Is it true that we are accent-free English speakers! Really? That we are cosmopolitan?

Could it be our cultural awareness? Kenyan culture of world culture?

Is it because we are the ultimate Safari Country? National park in the city boundaries? Is being two hours from deserts, parks, lakes, coast, snow, tropical rain forest, rift valley, etc such a strong motivation?

Apart from the good people, we also attract the not so desirable characters in droves. Are they here for the same reasons that keep the clean folks here.

Or are we a country of easy virtue? We accommodate anyone with the right amount of money? Drug traffickers, human traffickers, money launders, pirates, perverts, political and economic refugees, genocide perpetrators, terrorists,

Can any of these reasons make a well travelled expatriate or business man choose Kenya over another 200 possible countries around the world?

Maybe if we figured why other people are in love with our country, we may just learn to love our country too and stop dreaming about the "gold-paved" streets of the west.

Chief Justice Interviews: Public Humiliation With One Wicked Eye On The Gallery

2011-05-05T19:11:00.000+03:00

The ongoing public interviews for applicants willing to fill the position of Kenya's post new constitution Chief Justice are nothing but a public humiliation that should be stopped and fast. The Judicial Service Commission members are putting the applicants through a public lynching. Any HR practitioner will tell you that the process of recruitment is supposed to be conducted with some dignity bearing in mind that the applicant has a current duty station.

What we have seen so far is nothing short of settling scores in public, legal activism and the glee of less qualified tormentors sitting to judge men and women whose credentials they may never dream of achieving! To the untrained eye, it all seems a good thing that we can now participate in determining, albeit from the comfort of out TV sofa, who our next CJ will be. Incidentally now that members of the public are also "sitting" in the interview panel, what will happen if the JSC's choice(s) do not match the gallery's choice? Are we ever going to get show respect to the unfortunate man or woman?

Knowing our judiciary's not-so-illustrious -nor-clean history, it seems like the JSC wants to recruit an angel from a pool of crooks. Knowing that the Moi-era judiciary did not enjoy any independence and separation of powers was just a concept on paper, it is not right to humiliate the judges based on cases they ruled once.

What the JSC should have done was ensure anyone with a detestable past did not make the shortlist, otherwise Ahmednasir is just playing the gallery and is not very keen on getting us the most qualified man/woman for the position.

Please keep politics out of the process.

Transparency In Joint Police Recruitment? Really?

2011-04-27T08:36:00.000+03:00

Unlike the usual shrouded-in-darkness security agencies' recruitment, the last KWS Rangers recruitment exercise was a pacesetter in that for the first time they invited members of the public, Kenya Anti-Corruption Commission and NGOs to witness the recruitment and ensure transparency and fairness.

The rather bold and out-of-the-box method was resorted to after the fiasco of a previous recruitment that not only cost Director Mukolwe's job but also his reputation after influence-peddling government officials interfered with demands for guaranteed slots. So his successor, the superstar CEO Kipngetich decided to be transparent and fair in the recruitment, obviously driven by a desire to keep the politicians out of the exercise and also chart a new path in line with his pacesetting techniques.

This new mode of recruitment was so endearing that even Kenya Airports Authority who were recruiting security staff decided to conduct theirs jointly with KWS. It all went well.

It seems that the oft-maligned Kenya Police has also joined the transparency bandwagon and with a new and improved twist. They will recruit 7000 potential police officers in all 286 districts simultaneously and with results known on the same day too. The sibling rivalry between regular Police and Administration Police seems to have been set aside so as to conduct the interview jointly.

The applicants will be applying in writing before the physical examination and fitness tests. Recruits will be asked what their choice force is and admitted to a 15 month training course accordingly.

In what seems to be advance implementation of the Police reforms, trainees will be allowed internship before formal recruitment to gauge suitability. One of the key recommendations of the Naikuni-led reforms committee, is a halt to the outright recruitment of any and every person who completes a 6-month training in Kiganjo or Embakasi which is seen as a cause of the many obviously unsuitable and unstable police officers that litter the force and are evidenced by the rising suicide cases and gun-accidents usually involving a disgruntled junior shooting a senior.

It will be interesting to see if all 286 centres will be true to the national brief and keep away from temptations that recruits will bring to the exercises. I am also curious to see what tricks the Kamiti inmates known to send thousands of enticing text messages "offering" positions to a gullible Kenyan public hungry for employment opportunities for a small "fee" will come up with! Twenty four hours may prove too short for them to swindle enough people.

Its interesting that the Police Force have adopted the recruitment mode from a man touted to be the likely next Inspector-General of Police! Makes for good cocktail small talk.

I am sure some of the recruitment drama will be served to you on the Friday night TV satirical servings of Newshot, Flipside and Bullseye.

Prof. Nyon'go You Should Not Whine- Do Something About Cancer Treatment

2011-04-21T16:32:00.000+03:00

I have had this post marinating in my mind for a while now. In fact I have been seething for a while. The reason I have been seething with anger is because of one Prof. Peter Anya'ng Nyong'o (herewith referred as PPAN). This state has been going on since the good Professor returned home after his successful treatment in San Francisco.

When the news of his sickness was broken through his Sunday column in the Standard, I sympathized with the good Professor, first as a fellow human being, next as a fellow man (in the over-40 years bracket and a likely candidate of prostrate cancer), thirdly based on the 6 degrees of separation theory, I know his wife from my professional fraternity for which she held leadership positions and always delivered hubby when we needed a senior government minister to grace our functions and give them some semblance of stately seriousness! Finally, I like Prof. Peter Anya'ng Nyong'o as one of the sober politician we have and who can take the debate from the gutters to intellectual levels if and when he is not defending his party.

So back to my seething, I have nothing against his return or his healing at all. What I have a problem is the statements he made after his return. He got a lot of press and even some ripple-effect coverage on status of cancer treatment and facilities in Kenya followed in his wake.

Whereas as a recovering patient, he had every right to celebrate overcoming cancer, I begrudge the fact that he mixed his different roles in the process. As a leader, as a highly educated opinion leader in our society, as an MP sitting in parliament and with powers to make private or state-sponsored and appropriate legislation and as a Minister in-charge of Medical Services, in my humble opinion, I think he made some very unfortunate statements. He came out badly due to his fascination with facilities in Western World, he made unsavory statements about the qualifications of Kenyan Doctors. Was it the doctors in San Francisco who diagnosed his disease or the same Kenyan doctors he went all over the media giving a bad name?

I do not mind a mwananchi who gets a raw deal in local hospitals using the media to get attention and creating awareness or whining; but the Minister in charge of all doctors? The man we have entrusted to change policy and its implementation thereafter? Talking to us like he expects someone else to come around and change things? He had the audacity of getting verbose about the state-of-art equipment available in the US. He event further and said that there are possibilities of the manufacturers of such equipment leasing them to government. Of course in between he brought other issues like the proposed universal medical insurance for all citizens.

Sample a quote below of the Minister in one of the media interviews and tell me if this is not the all-familiar whining we all hear from the hoi polloi saying, "naiomba serikali....";

"The Government should make it a mandatory health requirement for men over 45 to have their PSA levels tested regularly so that the disease can be caught early.

Second, we require nurses, clinical officers and urologists who can diagnose prostate cancer and advise on proper treatment. Proper diagnostic equipment is also a must.

At the moment, these are extremely few, and very often diagnosing prostate cancer is done mainly at our national referral facilities, provincial government hospitals and private hospitals."

I will be forever upset with PPAN if out of his personal experience, he does not act and make some tangible changes during his tenure in Afya House and as an MP. I think PPAN should play some major part in replicating a smaller version of Mount Zion Medical Centre here in Kenya. After all if the Minister, a cancer survivor, a senior member of the society cannot do it, who will?

Professor, I am watching you. Do not let me down.

Concerns About Cost of Living

2011-04-19T18:32:00.000+03:00

After a few weeks of the Ocampo 6 circus, the country has suddenly been jolted back to the realities that face more than 50% of the population who live in abject poverty. With riots already happening in Uganda and Burkina Faso due to high living costs, it was just a matter of time before someone tapped the government and media out of the hypnosis induced by the highly entertaining Ocampo 6 circus.

A friend of mine has a tendency of asking for a rationale for any information you share with him. When you learn some new fact, he wants to know what value does it have to the immediate cause? He says 90% of the information that we share in a day may be interesting, but of zero value to our lives.

In the same breath, I have taken the same view and measure to most of the shenanigans that we are subjected to by our leaders/politicians. So how will Kenya change or improve if we sing patriotic songs off key in Amsterdam? Is the scarcity of maize seeds and fertilizer that is the concern of hundreds of thousands of farmers solved? Nah! How will the hundreds of poor Kenyans living in camps change? I now pay attention to news or commentaries that offer solutions. Political brinkmanship should not be allowed a national platform, especially when the expected outcome is just political careers of three or four Kenyans.

The national platform should only be given to issues that affect the masses and it was heartening to suddenly see on evening news stories on living costs and unemployment that is a concern for many. So what should we expect from our government?

Rations for the very poor? Subsidies? Government issue unga? I am waiting for the evening news to see how we propose to handle this one.

Simple Life, Great Outdoors

2011-03-23T17:45:00.000+03:00

I Stumbled here and found this really beautiful picture titled "simple life, great outdoors" and I could not agree more. Looking at the photo resonated with my inner self, it gave me peace and to some extent I admired the man in his simple shelter. I know there are many people who would love to be in a rather plush luxury-laden house in a grey colourless city, but as for me, that view, that location, that simplicity is all I want.

Although I don't have as much time to be outdoors more, I am an occasional camper and hiker. I still cling to a dream of owning a piece of land in a picturesque place in Kenya before I transition to the other world. I will build my simple shack and wake up to the views and fresh air, which might be good for whatever old-age ailments I may carry then!

Moving On

2011-03-22T14:35:00.001+03:00

After three years and five months in the environment sector, I am moving on to a different sector. I have had myself a ball in the that time and I take no regrets but many lessons learnt and many joyous moments shared. I have made many friends and met many Kenyans and friends of Kenyans who have made an impact in many lives. I have been privileged to work in such an important sector, doing work that was very satisfying and in tune with mankind's basic needs of water, food, shelter while one eye was on posterity and the questions they may ask of our generation should we make a mess of the environment. I leave with a lot of satisfaction in my heart, knowing that I did my part to the best of my ability. I can now move on to do my work elsewhere, especially in other spheres that aim to create happiness and a sense of wellness. One of the lessons I learnt is that there is so much that needs to be done and not enough hands. Another lesson was that Mother Nature is watching and despite all the science available to us, she remains a mystery that seems to heave in painful anger now and then, just to remind us who is in charge. As I move on, I will share with you a quotation that has helped me in my journey through life- "The secret to success is figuring what you want and how to get it". Go figuring and go getting.............

What Thoughts Do You Have Today

2011-03-06T00:17:00.000+03:00

Valentine Njoroge is a columnist in the Star newspaper and a former radio presenter who has distinguished herself as a sex therapist who is both blunt and honest. Although she is not a psychologist, the very nature of problems laid before her every week do qualify and in cases may need proper psychological counseling.

In the recent few weeks my attention has been drawn to Valentine’s Friday column by some interesting headlines. When I saw a catchy headline of a reader seeking to know where the G-Spot is located in a woman’s anatomy, I was instantly hooked. True to form, Valentine with the dexterity of an experienced doctor guided the reader to the location of the famed spot. As to whether it exists or not, I have no idea, but her very vivid road map would lead someplace for anyone who was keen to go exploring. The next week, another reader wanted to know if men too have a G-Spot and valentine did not disappoint in her response.

I am a keen consumer of the well written English and I am always on the lookout for the rare breed of Kenyan journalist or writer with the ability of intertwining both message and prose into a master piece. In my view Valentine’s article in the Star of February 4^th was such a piece. Whereas she was faithful to her subject, a reader who wanted advice on her failing libido wanted to know if a sexual assault she suffered in the hands of an older live-in cousin in the past could have been the cause of her fledgling interest in matters of sex.

“You have to learn to select your thoughts the same way that you select your clothes every day” is the summary of Valentine’s philosophy. She says that anybody can volunteer for any label and find a suitable event to match the term. All human beings have the choice to choose the theme of their lives. If by some bad luck you suffered an unfortunate event in your life, you have the ability to choose to have this event define you and ruin the rest of your life or you can choose to define your own values and build a life around that.

What really touched me is the deep truth and philosophy in this message. Don’t we know so many people from amongst out friends and relatives who have refused to let go an event or episode from their past? I am not educated, I am from a poor family, I am an orphan, I have no father, I am not from the right tribe or race! I don’t speak with the right diction etc. Just like a bad event in your life a weakness of no consequence can also hinder your life and deny you the confidence that is needed for one to enjoy life fully.

What the article did for me was explain to me a philosophy I adopted a long time ago. I am the architect of my life and everything therein. If I want a happy, fun filled life, I have to choose thoughts that will ensure that happens. If on the other hand like all people I encounter some bad moments or people, all I do is block you from my thoughts. It works.

Thank you Valentine, for putting it so vividly. You are an artist.

Safaricom Economics A Wee Bit Flawed

2011-02-16T22:55:00.000+03:00

Government could lose up to Kshs. 5 billion if the on-going cut-throat competition amongst the telecoms continues. The tariff wars have forced government to form an inter-ministerial committee to look into the issue although the Prime Minister told Parliament that competition was healthy and led to innovations. Already the falling calling rates have forced some of the telecoms to move into value added services like data as opposed to voice.

In my view Collymore and his band of green merry men at Waiyaki Way are blackmailing the government and I was shocked to hear the cheap arguments in parliament today advanced by some members of a parliamentary committee that Safaricom met yesterday as well as shareholders who see their prospective dividends disappear in the thin air. . A fall in VAT & excise duty collections, loss of jobs, unfair pricing, killing of “our own” multinational Safaricom, etc were advanced as reasons that should ensure government stops the competition.

If I could personify the tariff wars, what comes to my mind is a picture of four obese and gluttonous men sitting around a giant mountain of ugali with no shirts and dusty bare feet. . One of the gluttons is obviously bigger and older than the other three, his hands are bigger, faster and he already has the biggest side plate on the table. It means that his eating speed is higher than others and he also has the advantage of hording more on his side plate. The much younger and slower gluttons are trying to keep up with the giant’s speed to no avail.

What is surprising is that despite the obvious advantage, the giant is making a lot of noise and distracting everybody, he wants everybody to eat slowly and to chew and gulp in unison. When the others complain and request for all the ugali and stew to be put in one container, he refuses and starts wailing that the others are not fair and if they don’t listen to him everybody will have nothing to eat and the shopkeeper will suffer too if he has no one to sell his flour to. He reminds the others that even the cook may opt out and seek another more fulfilling career! What flawed thinking!

I don’t blame Safaricom, because like every private enterprise, their motive is to create wealth for their owners and not increase government revenue! What bothers me is that some of our MPs and even the media are buying into Safaricom’s flawed argument so easily. From a layman’s point of view, if my monthly expenditure on calls was Kshs.500, but suddenly because of lower rates I can suddenly make the same number of calls I usually make at only Kshs. 200, why should anyone be complaining? It shouldn’t be me at all because I now have Kshs. 300 I can use on other purchases or save. Government should come up with ways of ensuring the extra money in my pocket is directed to other purchases that can spur the economy. If my Khs. 300 is what builds the “losses” of Kshs. 5 billion in government revenue, I would expect the government to be happy and to go looking elsewhere and plug their revenue deficit. Money in my pocket is not a loss. It is a gain for me the owner.

It is a well known fact that Safaricom is the biggest advertiser in the land and no self-respecting publishing or electronic media house will criticize them and hence the universal nodding in unison by all media houses. They wouldn’t threaten their advertising revenues. In the past Michael Joseph has fired complete departments and not a word finds its way to media. He once fired the whole finance department and procurement department, but no media house was brave enough to say a word. So don’t expect any sober discussion other than Safaricom’s point of view.

The only really independent voice in this would have been Parliament’s, but as they admitted today, they would rather hope Safaricom continues to dominate the market and rake in the obscene turnovers in the hope that someday in future their shares in the company might be cashed at a profit.

Shame on Safaricom- after years of overcharging us for calls, you now turn round and deviously keep us away from lower calling rates because it will affect your projections? With 15.7 m subscribers to all your combined competitor’s less than 5m, you should be content that you have corned a very big chunk of the market. Kenyans are very unforgiving to when taken advantage of.

So dear mobile subscriber, you are once again on your own.

Zain (Airtel) Media Golf Challenge

2011-02-14T09:54:00.000+03:00

The Airtel predecessors came up with this public relations masterstroke with an aim of introducing the game of golf to journalists in a monthly tournament involving sports journalist drawn from all private and public media houses including those drawn from Presidential Press Service.

The journalists whose Loyalty membership and green fees are paid for by Airtel at Golf Park, Kenya’s only public golf course; meet once a month for a tournament during which winner are awarded prizes and league points.

The leading golfers so far have been Tony Kwalanda of K24, Tony Timase of Citizen TV, Robin Njogu of Capital FM, Charles Kerich of Star and Kipchalat of PPS. Lady journalists are not to be left behind and the monthly tourney has a good representation of ladies as well.

It’s interesting that such an initiative is undertaken by a telcom firm and not Kenya Golf Union. The media has been very good to the golfing community, what with a whole fee page devoted to weekend draws every Friday. For a sport played by such a small section of the public this is more than a fair share of space. Also due to a heavy involvement of blue chip companies in golf sponsorship, the Monday and Tuesday sports pages are also healthily sprinkled with golf results.

My Golfing Experience So Far

2011-02-14T09:42:00.000+03:00

It has been a roller coaster ride and I have extracted immense joy from my golfing ride so far. I have visited about 20 golfing clubs in the last eight months all over the country. Partly aided by a few of my friends who work for some of the most regular and generous golf sponsors in the country, I found my way into their tournaments as a guest of the corporates.

I have therefore been able to see different parts of the country as well as play in golf course with some of the most breathtaking sights and backdrops in the land. I have also had the chance to play in the world class Vipingo Ridge’s Baobab course twice. I also played at the Great Rift Valley Lodge’s course during a workshop in the lodge. Vipingo, Leisure Lodge and GRVL together with Windsor are the country’s golf resorts set up to take advantage of Kenya’s tourism reputation. Most of the other courses were set up ages ago by colonial civil servants to afford them exclusive hideaways where they could mingle with their kind and laterally let down their hair.

Apart from the help I got from my corporate friends, my work which takes me around the countryside a lot also came in handy because I was able to play on more courses either early or late in the day after official programmes. During the August and December holidays, I was also able to tie-in one or two rounds during the family vacation. In fact, I have become a bit selfish and will look to holiday around areas with a course a short distance away.

When I started playing, I decided that I would be making a point of playing in all Kenyan courses and so far I have managed some 20. I have another 20 or so golf courses that I want to visit and play in the next one year of so. Some are out of the way and may prove to be a headache like Mt. Kenya Safari Club, Magadi because you have to make a deliberate tour to the establishment to get a chance.

Apart from seeing the country and playing in wonderful courses, golf has allowed me to meet some very interesting people who you are never going to find at your local pub. When you arrive at a starting tee box, you are most likely to play with a perfect stranger. Golf allows four or less players to move together. So the guy you link up with at the start could be a CEO of a blue chip company or a famous litigation lawyer you only read about in the papers. I have played with everyday Kenyans too and struck friendships that have enriched my life. Good golfer having a bad day at work of bad golfers having a good day on the course is very common and there are numerous occasions for commiserating each other due to some bad strokes.

I will keep you posted on my progress, but go out and play today.

Dalliance With Newspapers Ends

2010-11-02T18:20:00.000+03:00

My day job in communications requires me to be on top of the happenings in my sector. I therefore need to monitor daily newspapers, weeklies, monthlies, online news sources, electronic media in the form of radio, TV and internet sources. This has therefore made me an ardent and voracious reader of newspapers on a daily basis. In a day, I have to peruse the Daily Nation, Standard, Star, People Daily, Kenya Times and Taifa. At the beginning of the week I also have to look at East Africa and Kenya Today as well as any other periodicals like Time, Ecomonist and Newsweek even as time has to be created for trade journals. I have gouged myself with information for years on end and it has tremendously increased my knowledge on various subjects. I dont wear this on my sleeves though it gives me a lot of satisfaction.

After close to two decades of this kind of life, I have recently started to evaluate my relationship with newspapers. In view of the internet's ubiquitous shadow on our lives, I am starting to feel like the newspaper is "behind news" literally. Last weekend I decided not to buy the dailies hoping that life would be unbearable by mid-afternoon. After all, this has been my routine for ages. My weekend is not complete before I go through the two papers cover to cover! So nothing happened. Three days later, I have no interest in looking at the five dailies in the office. I want to push this for another few weeks and I can then say that am rid of my thirst and dalliance with the papers.

After all five minutes on facebook, another ten on this or that blog aggregator another five on google news is all I need to know what is happening everywhere in the country and the world.

My Golfing Journey

2010-06-20T12:34:00.000+03:00

May 2010 is the month I started playing golf. Today is 20^th June and my game is three visits on a golf course old. I have been learning at the Golf Park’s driving range and after five lessons, I thought that I was ready to tackle the course. My tutor told me the best time for a learner is before 8 am when early regular and good golfers start arriving in droves. For my first course opportunity, I was punctual at a few minutes to seven and despite losing ten balls in the course, I had a blast. That gave me confidence to try the Thika course a few weeks later. In between I have been on the Nairobi Royal’s range. During the Thika visit , I did not lose any ball, though its understandable seeing that they don’t have any serious water hazards.

My golfing game is still young and needs lots of improving before I can start chasing the handicaps. I am told that I need to get into a group that can be my regular playing fourball or foursome. I have a few who are on this journey with me and I intend to walk the road with them, but I also want to get opportunity to play with a few friends who have been in the game much longer. My lessons for now are from the range tutors, my caddy, team mates and random strangers. I have also been given a book written by Jack Nicklaus the golfing great that uses simple illustrations to take a learner through the golfing fundamentals. I am also now watching the golfing tournaments on TV more and learning from watching great players in action.

In the course of my short journey in golf, I have learnt a lot and also recognize that lots more are ahead. I have learnt the discipline that is necessary, the learning that I must absorb from my caddy, more advanced golfers and random strangers concerned that my swing is not right. I have also learnt some golfing etiquette that is as necessary as oxygen while on the course.

In the past I could not fathom the commitment and passion displayed by my golfing friends and acquaintances. They could talk for hours on end about golf. Some swear that if you figure out the game, then you will have figured out life. I know one who declares that if you cannot hack in golf, then you cannot make it in life. He has equated the game with life itself. I don’t blame him and I fully understand his passion now that I am on the inside. Golf is full of folklore and jokes. Everyone has anecdotal experiences that can leave you entranced and enthralled through a night. What I find interesting is most golfers’ account of how they started the game. Golf also has a host of rags to riches stories of caddies who rose to be men of importance through the game.

Since my work takes me around the country a lot, I am hoping to use as many of the 38 course around the country as I can. I have a feeling that I will enjoy the journey immensely.

What Club Do You Join?

2010-06-01T16:23:00.002+03:00

After listing the reasons and how to join a sports/recreational or social club in Kenya, below I have roll of some of the popular clubs near and around Nairobi. The costs indicated were applicable in early 2009 and may have since changed. However they are indicative since clubs rarely hike the fees unless they have major projects coming up.

Parklands Sports Club

Background	Located on Ojijo Road in Parklands, the club is popular with the newly rich and young families
Membership Fees	Family costs 250,000 for family entrance, 15,000 for annual subscriptions
Facilities	Accommodation, squash, swimming pool, gym, walking track, meeting rooms, snooker, dining and bar facilities.

Kiambu Golf Club-

Background	Located in Kiambu town, the club offers mainly golf facilities
Membership Fees	Family costs 75,000 for entrance, 15,000 subscriptions and 2000 for KGU/KLGU while a single costs 65,000, 10,000, and 1500 respectively.
Facilities	Golf, squash, darts, and snooker, dining and bar facilities.

Railway Club

Background	It is located 500m from Nairobi city centre with businesses overlooking the course. Was recently embroiled in an ownership wrangle with the Kenya Railways who are proposing developing a Golf City- golf club, 2 hotels, cinema halls and shopping malls with a mono-rail connection to JKIA on land they claim ownership.
Membership	Costs 120,000/ for golfing membership. One of the few clubs that allows corporate membership
Reciprocation	Kitale, Kericho, Eldoret, Nakuru, Njoro, Nyeri, Thika Arusha, Gymkhana Dar-es-salaam, Moshi, Uganda Golf Club

Goan Gymkhana Club

Location	Located on Ngara Rd. off Museum Hill Road. Tel 3747269 Ask for Manager Joseph or Kyallo .
Background	Has about 280 registered members. 50-60 active members. Conveniently located at the Museum Hill area. Has a good mixture of Goan, Indian and African members.
Membership	Club Entrance Fee is Kshs. 68,500/= (50,000 Entrance, 10,000 Development Levy and 8,500/= Annual subscription).
Facilities	Facilities Badminton, Squash, Snooker, Swimming, walking track, dining, bar and until recently has an indoor Golf range!
Reciprocation	Reciprocates with Nairobi Institute, Arusha Institute, Dar-es Salaam Institute, Mombasa Institute.

Muthaiga Golf Club

Background	Muthaiga enjoys the influential position of having been one of the Kenya's pioneer golf courses and it serves as a home to the Kenya Golf Union and plays host to the most prestigious golfing event in the country, The Kenya Open.Started in 1922, today Muthaiga has a multi-racial member’s roll.
Facilities	18-hole golf course, practice range bar, dining
Membership	Costs 20,000 to apply for membership, 200,000 entrance fee, 30,000 development levy and 27,500 for annual subscription

Muthaiga Country Club

Background	Neighbours the golf club but on a different entrance. Still retains the colonial demeanour both in membership as well as in culture
Membership	Not available
Facilities	Not available

Impala Sports Club

Background	Situated along Ngong road, this club is associated with Rugby more than any other sport but has lately developed the offerings for other sports and especially the gym.
Membership	Entrance fee – 30,000/=Annual subscriptions- 10,000/= per family, 8500 for single and 4300/= for Old Cambrian (old Nairobi School boys)
Facilities	Tennis, Squash, swimming, bar, restaurant, rugby, football and gym which costs 3000 for members and 5000 for non-members
Contacts	Att: Marketing manager- Mary Ann impalaclubkenya@gmail.com tel 3860084

Nairobi Gymkhana

Background	Situated on Desai Road off Forest Road, this club has the best cricket ground in the country and a few 2003 World Cup matches were played here. It is predominately Asian membership, but a few Africans and Europeans are also members
Facilities	The club has cricket, gym, swimming pool, badminton, squash, lawn tennis, table tennis, hockey,
Membership costs	Kshs. 84,696 for entrance and annual subscriptions of Kshs. 9696/=

Public Service Club

Membership	Entrance Fee- 65,000/=Annual Subscription- 5,000/=. Deposit- as per planned consumption Total 70,000/=
Facilities	Squash & tennis courts, steam and sauna, jogging track, function grounds, aerobics, swimming, snooker, two bars. Darts
Reciprocation	Machakos, Mombasa, Nanyuki and Makuyu
Contacts	Manager-Mr. Musembi , Supervisor- Mr. Dan 2711785/ 0722-383397 psc@wananchi.com
Procedure to join	Must be introduced by a member, who gets a form as your proposer, also gets seconder. 3 Committee members to endorse application. Interview will follow.

Jockey Club of Kenya

Background	This is the home of horse racing in Kenya. Horse owners and breeders congregate here. The club recently diversified and started the first public golf course –The Golf Park with which it has a symbiotic relationship.
Facilities	Horse racing, golf
Membership	Either a one-off joining fee of 50,000 or 35,00 annual subscriptions. This entitles one to free entrance to all race meetings (15 per year) and free entrance at Golf Park. 50% discount on ground hire and unspecified discounts at Steve’s Steak House and Club Barn on the premises.

Golf Park

Background	The Golf Park is Kenya’s first fully-fledged public golf course, located at the Ngong Racecourse in the centre of the racetrack. The Golf Park does not have members and is open to everybody to try the game of Golf; Beginners and Experienced Golfers are all welcome at the Golf Park.
Facilities	Facilities include a full-length nine-hole golf course with 4 water hazards, a driving range and pro shop with full equipment hire available. A resident golf professional is available to give lessons and advise golfers. Use the Breeders and owners pavivilion , but a snack bar is available in the course.
Membership	Although its open to the public, there is a charge of 7,500 for royalty membership which earns one 30% discount on green fees. Charges are 9 holes- 650 or 900 for walk ins. 18 holes will cost 800 and 1200 for a walk in. Range balls – 50 balls-300 for public and 50 halls for 200 for loyals every 50 subsequent balls will cost 100. Hiring of clubs – 650 and one lesson costs 1000/=.
Location	Contact 020 566108/9

Windsor Golf Hotel & Country Club

Background	Opened in 1992, WGH&CC is a 5-star premier resort that operates a hotel and club on the same premises bordering indigenous forests some 20 kms from city centre. Popular with expatriates working around the Gigiri area.
Facilities	18-hole championship golf course, jogging & walking tracks, tennis & squash courts, swimming pool, gym, steam & sauna, club house, saloon
Membership	Individual golfer – Kshs. 310,500 with 49,500 annual subscriptions. Kshs. 395,000 and 61,500 annual subscriptions for a golfing couple. Social membership (without golf) costs Kshs. 141,000 entry fee and 34,500 annual subscription. Green fees are Kshs. 4,700 and 4000 for weekends and weekdays respectively.

Royal Nairobi Golf Club

Background	Situated off Ngong Road, this is the oldest golf club in Kenya having started in 1906.
Facilities	Golf course, Practice range, Swimming pool, Steam Rooms, Squash Courts, grounds for hire
Membership	At Kshs. 320,000, this is one of the costliest clubs to join

United Kenya Club

Background	Situated next to University of Nairobi this club is more popular for accommodation, parking and social reasons than for sports.
Facilities	Gym, snooker, library and business centre, conference, grounds for hire, dining and bar facilities
Membership	Town members entrance fee-40,000, 12,000 annual subscriptions, 10,000 for development levy and 5,000 deposit. Its 5,000 cheaper for country members

Nairobi Club

Background	Nairobi Club has a membership of over 2,000 drawn from the middle and top level executives and professions in Kenya. Situated in the Upper Hill area
Facilities	Cricket, Bowling, jogging track, gym, numerous bars and restaurants,
Membership	Joining Fee - Kshs 168,000/= Development Levy - Kshs 12,000/= Refundable Deposit - Kshs 15,000/=

Vetlab

Sigona

Karen Country & Golf Club

Eastleigh Air Base Club

Vipingo Ridge

The new bold concept at the coast aims to bring world class golfing action into Kenya for the first time. With two PGA class championship courses and a game sanctuary, the developers are hoping to attract high net worth individuals in the planned integrated residential area where plots are selling at Kshs. 10 million apiece.

Other Clubs –

Polo Club

Kenya Motor Sports Club

Olepolos Country Club-

Bulls Eye Club- Namanga Road

Braeburn Club

Parents and teachers at any of the high-cost Braeburn schools get automatic membership. The club is found at the Lavington campus and has a bar, restaurant and pool table in the Club itself, a coffee shop and an outdoor patio overlooking the school sports grounds. Members of the Club can take advantage of all the school sporting and recreational facilities that include 3 glass-backed Squash courts, Tennis, Swimming pool, Football, rugby and hockey in the sports field. External members are also welcome on paying Kshs. 12,000 entrance fee and 10,000 annual subscriptions.

Sadili Oval

Also associated with the Malezi schools, this club is situated within the Langata middle-class residential area. Open to parents of the schools. Has a gym, tennis courts, tracks and swimming pools. Costs not available.

Information on Social and Sports Clubs in Kenya

2010-05-07T07:12:00.000+03:00

The post that follows below has been in preparation for a long time. It must be two years since I set out to do a survey on social and recreation clubs in Kenya. I took my time to gather information guided by the need to find out the most suitable club to join. I have since joined one club in the city with limited facilities, but convenient and affordable with regards to my needs. I have also started lessons in golf and I am on my third lesson in the driving range and looking forward to the day I graduate to the course.

The information I gathered is therefore being shared in the hope it is helpful in determining who, why, when, where and how to join a club for anyone who has been exploring such thoughts. I will start with a general into, but in part II will include a comprehensive catalogue of Kenyan clubs.

Who joins a club?

Only a paltry 10,000 Kenyans play golf. Maybe another 10,000 are members of social or sports clubs across the country. In a country of close to 40 million people, joining a club is deemed as a shortcut to getting you on the inside track of a select network of movers and shakers.

Why join a club?

Many people join in search of contacts to help grow in either career or business. Others join because they have attained a certain social status. Some join to bequeath their offspring with a legacy. Others join for the sheer love of sports like golf, squash, swimming, bowling, etc. Others just want a decent place to dine and wine. Still others want to be part of the discipline and order that a club culture instill in members. Yet others want cheap accommodation on the road locally and overseas at reciprocating facilities.

When to join a club

If your parents had foresight, its best to join as a junior member and graduate to a full member on attaining 21 years at no cost. What cheaper way could four people join at intervals? If you don’t come from a privileged background and wish to bequeath your children with a social network, join today and enjoy discounts for generations!

Where to join

Usually proximity to your areas of operation- residence, business or work- should be the guiding principle. If your interest is golf, then Muthaiga, Karen, Nairobi Royal, Vet Lab, Sigona, Limuru, Kiambu, Thika, Makuyu or Machakos will have to do for most Nairobi residents. Many people also join country clubs during their tours of duty and once settled back in the city, they don’t see the need to join another club- they will frequent reciprocating clubs in the city. Others choose to take up country membership in city clubs, but this limits them to one or two visits per month and no voting or representation rights. Many clubs will review reciprocation trends and strike out some clubs that seem to be draining their resources through over reciprocation by members.

How to join?

Most clubs will not allow you to just walk in. You will not even be given a hearing. A member who knows you well is expected to write recommending you to the club. Should you be accepted, you will fill a form with a proposer and seconder endorsing you. In some clubs, the endorsement of committee members is necessary. Your CV and photo will be pinned at the notice board. Cross your fingers that none of the members in the club was ever bullied by your brother in primary school or knows and doubts your integrity because all it takes is one member’s objection and you are refunded your cheque with no reference as to why your application was rejected.

April Fools Day Prank: My Family Will Pay For This

2010-04-25T21:03:00.000+03:00

I am not very big on celebrations, commemorations, international days and I don’t think April Fool’s ranks anywhere in my “to do” list as worthy of my attention. So 1^st April was a Thursday meant to pass by just like any other uneventful day. I was busy at work and never got a chance to glance at the newspaper headlines all day. Like I often do, I packed my set of dailies in my laptop bag and promised myself that I would get some time in the course of the Easter break to catch-up with the news. So there was no way I was going to avoid the fate that befell me later in the day.

My kids Gregory and Natasha were closing school on the day and Georgina, my wife was picking them up before noon and taking the rest of the day off. I had just bought the services of DSTV’s Premium bouquet the previous day, to ensure the kids were thoroughly entertained in-between the mandatory three hour homework sessions. As a family, we only get DSTV connected during the holidays because it distracts the kids from their studies. In between I may get a month or two of Compact if some interesting sports event is going on like World Athletics Championships, Cricket World Cup, or any other that catches my fancy. I don’t have a lot of time, but an occasional 20 minutes of sports highlights and CNN news on demand is all I wish for.

We had not had power for two nights prior to the day due to translocation of power cables to allow a road development in the area. So after noon I am called with a message that power came back with a surge and all our dear electrical appliances including my beloved plasma TV, hi-fi system, DSTV decoder, fridge, bedroom TV were all burnt and smoking at the back. Georgina who had called me was not able to respond to my barrage of questions on the exact location and nature of the smoke. She pleaded ignorance of “these things of yours”! I was heartbroken for my kids’ sake, because I had promised them unlimited TV viewing once they went on vacation. In return I had demanded they sacrifice even the Mexican soaps their mother loved. What was I going to tell them? With money so tight, when was I going to replace the appliances? I had heard that KPLC could pay for such losses if the surge can be attributed to their end. But how long would such compensation take?

The rest of the afternoon was a distracted affair for me and I was weighing my options. I called a few friends who I knew to have suffered such problems in the past. One broke my heart when he said that it took a whole 9 months and his lawyer’s intervention to be paid. Another was helpful and gave me the contacts of a senior officer in KPLC who could help me. Despite numerous attempts to reach the contact, he was not answering the phone. As the hour to go home drew closer, I was sensing the gravity of the situation weighing on my shoulders heavily.

Anyway, I got home at around 7 pm and on ringing the bell I was met by the saddest faces I have ever seen. There was unsettling silence in the house that would otherwise be filled by Natasha’s beloved Disney Channel’s noises or Gregory’s music videos or their mother’s soaps or gospel shows. It didn’t help that the mother was holding a book implying that she was resigned to the fate of no TV, no radio forever.

After being given an account of what happened, I was determined to get through to the KPLC contact and just as I was about to call him, he actually returned my missed calls and apologized having left his phone in the car while attending a church service. When I explained my situation urged on by the forlorn faces before me, he explained calmly that I should lodge my complaints with the Legal Corporation of the organization the next working day which was some days away. He tried to be helpful assuring me that such cases have been sorted out amicably in the past, but cautioned me that it takes time and I should not interfere with the appliances until their people had a chance to inspect them. I couldn’t even repair them in the meantime! After I hang up, I decided to reassure the family that lack of TV is not the end of the world and that I would figure out something in the next few days. They seemed to take it well.

I then excused myself to go get a drink in the fridge before promising that we would have a night of fun with games and story books and they would not even miss TV. My sympathy was heartfelt and I may have missed to notice that the fridge was working well. Neither did I notice on arriving home, the door bell was working as were the lights. That is not a sign of a house that had just gone through a devastating power surge! I also did not place the animated talk in the seating room from a threesome that had worn sorrowful faces and postures just a few minutes ago!

When I returned to the sitting room, they burst out in laughter and shouted “April fools!” with a mixture of relief and a strong urge to strangle someone, I demanded to know who the master mind of the prank was immediately. They were covering for each other, but eventually I found out it was Gregory who was aided by his mother and mischievous sister! They were beyond themselves with laughter and shouts of “gotcha, umepatikanaa, April fools”! They wanted to know why I couldn’t notice the remotes were next to the stool we use when in use or that the plasma screen was hot! Or that the bell was working, there was power everywhere. I had no answers, just a blank idiotic face full of egg. A few days later having gathered courage, I confessed to the friend who had gone through the trouble to give me a contact in KLPC that it was all a hoax. Not a very easy thing to do.

I have since recovered, but the urge to revenge is very strong and I will do so some day.

DSTV In Trouble From Pirates

2010-04-25T20:58:00.000+03:00

Kenyans are always looking for an opportunity to cut corners, ostensibly to make a saving. That is why we have so many fly-by-night-get-rich-quick-schemes. However any such schemes are always patterned with a view to parting a fool from his or her money. No so the two pirated DSTV schemes running in most middle to lower income Nairobi Estates and probably elsewhere countrywide. They both promise and deliver an otherwise unattainable service at affordable costs as well as make millions for their owners. Could this be termed a win-win situation? For the consumer and pirate, maybe, but not for Multichoice Kenya.

There is the DSTV Sambaza scheme that provides illegal connections to anything from a few flats in one block to a whole neighbourhood of hundreds, even thousands of homes by cable. The “operator” acquires a legal connection from DSTV, buys more decoders that are connected with a view to allowing the consumers view multiple channels. This one operates more or less the way a hotel distributes channels to different rooms. If you want to distribute 10 channels then you buy 10 decoders. DSTV Sambaza is very difficult to control, because the visible dish is one and the cabling may not be visible and could be included as the building construction is on-going. For a fee of anything between 200/= and 1000/= a month, Kenyans are enjoying illegal but good TV at MultiChoice Kenya’s expense.

The other service available is the DSTV Uncoded, which uses a Chinese made Satelitte Decoder that is connected to two satellite dishes. Essentially this scheme has managed to disarm DSTV’s primary strength which was the encoded signals. With their permission, you were given a decoder that deciphers their signal and identifies you as a genuine client. With their signal decoded and with no way of knowing who has decoded it and where because the unique card and decoder are thrown away, this scheme spells trouble in capital letters. The uncoded decoders and installation are going for 35,000-40,000/= with the added bonus of free TV forever or at least until the strong arm of the law catches up with the unfortunate consumer! All the DSTV channels are open to view including those in the Indian, French, Portuguese and West Africa Bouquets.

I believe there are another five variations of the two schemes mentioned here. Ingenious but criminal is what they all are. Who is to blame? Is it the customers who need affordable services? The installers who need to make a certain number of connections to remain afloat? The technicians who are paid peanuts for slow connections? The Computer Whiz kids in Kenya and China breaking the codes? The greedy businessmen running the services? DSTV in South Africa who are not able to put together bouquets that mean something to tens of markets they are in? Is it the local MultiChoice operations that seems unable to read the local market or is unable to get out of the controlling shackles of the “home” office that dictates products familiar in South Africa, but alien to Kenyans?

I have heard someone recently say that he has no qualms buying pirated music because it is the only way an African can get back at the Western world that stole our natural resources in centuries past and continue to perpetuate the brain drain in the current century. That might as well be true and can offer some semblance of comfort and justification for what is essentially a crime. If you purchase pirated music from the west, most likely you will do the same to local music. Touché. For a Kenyan who can afford the purchase price that is a vile attitude, but not so for hundreds of thousands of Kenyans who cannot afford to buy the monthly bouquets that DSTV offers locally.

DSTV is however not a Western company, but South African. The Kenyan operation is ironically part owned by the public through KBC. Although it is no secret that DSTV targets the high end of the market and indeed during their wars with GTV they made overt and un apologetic statements to that effect, they are dealing with a product in short supply which universally leads to un satisfied demand and subsequently a lucrative black market. It’s ironical that the bouquets they sell to Kenyans are glaringly different in content and price to what they sell in South Africa. For instance the DSTV Compact bouquet contains Super Sport 3 in South Africa, but not so in Kenya! If the Kenyan version had just that one channel, it would be the biggest money spinner for them, but instead they are happy to keep a small band of 10,000 connections majorly populated by Premium Bouquet customers paying 6000/= rather than 200,000 DSTV Compact customers paying 2500/= or less. It all boils down to strategy, an attribute that South African companies have lacked in their foray into Kenya and Multichoice seems to be headed at full speed in the direction of fulfilling this prophesy.

In a recent meeting with installers, the mandarins at Multichoice were close to using strong arm tactics in an effort to blaming installers for the sprouting illegal connections. The installers on the other hand are demanding a higher fee per official installation. With few official connections it is obvious that Multichoice are in a vicious cycle with minimum options. The easiest to implement is the regular time-tested increase in bouquet cost that is easily blamed on costs of acquiring programming and inflation amongst other run-on-the-mill excuses that Kenyan consumers are known to take lying down. Unless a shift in strategy is forth coming, the besieged Multichoice management will continue to face disquiet from installers, unquenched customers, illegal connections and the ubiquitous elephant in the room that they have managed to ignore for over a decade- the mass market. With the World Cup coming up in the next couple of months, activity in the DSTV Sambaza and Uncoded area will be near hysterical. Unless Multichoice targets the mass market with well-thought out products, I see DSTV facing mounting challenges in the future.

They have made hare-brained attempts to reach this mass market through liaisons with partner KBC who have an arrangement with Radio Africa’s Kiss TV and Radio Jambo for exclusive rights to broadcast matches. K24 is also being touted as a sports TV. KBC happens to be a shareholder in K24 too and the connection is obvious. It is evident that Multichoice has no idea where the mass market lives. They need help to reach the mass market before someone else or something else gets there before them.

In a half page advert in the Sunday Nation of 25th April, DSTV are requesting all their clients to change from the C-band dishes (the old big ones) to the smaller ones ostensibly because they have “no capacity to hold new channels”. In addition those currently viewing-band (IS10) service using certain decoder models (PAN 630, 635, 645, 642, DSD 1110 and SMS 9876) are also required to return them to DSTV for a swop with a newer decoder. Obviously they want to issue clients with “secure” ones that cannot be used to Sambaza or un-code.

Despite the current and anticipated challenges, Multichoice/DSTV has been a good vehicle and window for local talents. Take the local shows like Patricia, think of African Magic Plus channel that has recently started to show East African movies. Not to mention the high quality of production that goes behind the few Kenya Premier League matches Super Sport beams, as well as local rugby action. Local TV Stations have also jumped at the opportunity to be beamed via satellite on the DSTV bouquets. KTN, KBC, NTV and Citizen are all on board, while K24 are set to join soon. Through this medium local television has been able to reach far-flung areas that could not be reached via terrestrial masts. We could lose all these if DSTV should decide to leave Kenya.

DSTV has always been under threat from new and emerging satellite TV providers and were actually shaken by the entry of the short-lived GTV that promised so much, yet delivered so little. Their collapse is attributed to financial woes visited on them by the world financial meltdown of 2008/09. Does that mean under different financial circumstances the model for cheap satellite TV is feasible? There have also been feeble attempts to sell Digital set boxes as free2view alternate to satellite TV, but I see that as a con and an attempt to package digital quality TV as cable or Satellite TV. There is a distinct difference in content. As we get closer to the 2012 deadline to switch to Digital TV, the set boxes will cost much lower than the current 7,500/= with its offering of 28 free TV channels. Though benign, the entry of digital TV is a minor threat that DSTV should not ignore.

Other threats include the type that comes from the ground via the fibre optic cable. Zuku has run an online cable offering targeting the same market that DSTV does for about a year now. There is talk of KDN launching their own product soon as is expected of other ISPs trying to maximize on the expanded bandwidth by bundling voice, data and some TV.

Good luck to DSTV. So much more needs to be done!

Maestro Hellon? Give me a break!

2010-02-23T18:29:00.001+03:00

According to Wikipedia a “Maestro (or maestra for women) means "master" or "teacher" in Italian, Spanish and Portuguese. It is used in English to designate a master in an artistic field - usually someone who has gained enough knowledge within that field to be able to teach students successfully, though the term may sometimes be conferred through sheer respect for an artist's works. The term is most commonly used with respect to classical music and opera, most likely due to the heavy influence of Italian operatic traditions in many Western classical and operatic music schools. For instance, composers, orchestra conductors, and music teachers are frequently given this title. The word is less commonly, but sometimes, used in other fine arts traditions such as drawing, painting, and sculpture as well, but there "master", as in Old Master, Old master print etc, is far more common. In this sense it is derived from the rank of "free master" in a guild such as the painters' guild. When not used in a satirical sense, it is a highly respectful term, meant to convey appreciation for the skill of the master artist. “ I don’t know about you but the first time I heard about Hellon was as a member of the temporary “faculty” of Tusker Project Fame. Off course he has three jazz albums to his credit and late last year he started the Starry Nights performances in his Runda House! Now, none of the other members of the TPF “faculty” has attempted to adopt the title maestro despite some like Achieng Abura being multiple album artists. In a city teeming with talent where 15,000 can get you an album from the mushrooming studios, I don’t think 3 albums qualify one to be a maestro. If you put Ken Wa Maria and our Hellon in a competition on who deserves the title maestro more, I would put my money on Ken Wa Maria. But our celeb-obsessed entertainment journalists who love to confer titles carelessly will definitely go for Hellon. You want a maestro? Try India’s AR Rahman.

What do we have againist the cow?

2010-01-12T08:46:00.003+03:00

Industrialization P.S. Prof. John Lonyangapuo wants to know what problem Kenyans have with cows? After close to five decades of independence we have set up government agencies for practically every imaginable crop from coffee to tea, pyrethrum, cotton to coconut; while livestock which traverses every Kenyan village and impact all classes has no single purpose - built government agency to look after its issues. He wants to know what we have against the cow?

Bumper Crop

2010-01-08T09:21:00.001+03:00

There is celebration and joy across the country especially in the ASAL districts of Ukambani. The cause of this patting of our collective backs is a bumper crop of maize and other crops. The local farmers have every reason to celebrate because they are guaranteed another season of food on the table. The local leadership especially is gloating about the prospects of keeping away the undignified government relief supplies. The real genius behind the bumper crop is Red Cross who distributed quality seeds “on time” to the farmers. They did this in conjunction with Sygenta. Can our government through the Ministry of Agriculture not do the same? Last season, government imported fertilizer for distribution to farmers, but it arrived too late. In North Eastern and Western Kenya Red Cross has actually taken over the duty of distributing relief food after local administrators couldn’t be trusted. Is it about time we outsourced relief supplies, seed distribution and extension services to Kenya Red Cross? The indefatigable Abbas Gullet seems like he could be up to the task.

Nothing seems to change, we will still flock the Coast this holiday

2009-12-22T15:47:00.003+03:00

I wrote the piece below four years ago and I don’t think anything has changed since. The Nairobi-Mombasa migration will happen on schedule and as per plan. What do you think? Kenya Tourism Board , however thinks that a trend of Kenyans making forward bookings is slowly emerging!

The Great Migration

It is that time of the year again. The mad rush to the coast starts any time now. The December holiday season built around the schools holiday, Jamhuri weekend, Christmas and New Year holidays is probably the richest and busiest time for the hospitality industry at the coast. Everybody wants to be at the coast over the Christmas period, but if that does not work out due to other engagements, the Jamhuri and New Year period is good enough. Of course the traditional sojourn to the village is forever popular and is fitted in somewhere. The motivation for most middle class Nairobians, who form the longest beeline to the coast, is more to be with “it” than the recreational value they hope to get from such a vacation. There is especially enormous peer pressure via older offspring if their friends are down there, competitors if you are in business, workmates or friends and chama-mates to join the herd.

This irrational holidaying eliminates the possibility of taking a vacation at what would be considered relatively cheaper low or off-peak seasons. During the migration period, a three-star double room on half board basis usually goes for an average of Kshs. 15,000 and assuming you have two kids then you have a daily expenditure of about Kshs. 25,000 and a weekly spend of Kshs.175, 000 ($ 2,430) before you factor in your flight or car costs, taxi, refreshments, outings including one more meal per day, entrance fees to museums and miscellaneous costs. The same room would normally go for about 40-60% less during the off-peak season depending on duration of stay, size of group and mode of booking. Even at these exorbitant prices, rooms are surprisingly scarce and it is common to hear of late or double booked clients staying at staff quarters until something becomes available.

Of course the season of bounty means that the level of service goes a notch or two lower due to congestion beyond capacity and the problems associated with casual labour hurriedly assembled. Complaints are not attended to and even basics like a clean pair of sheets may be overlooked. For a regular traveler or a repeat client familiar with the best standards, it is a very trying time and often leads to “never again” vows. Cottages outside official hotels are also very popular and are cashing in on the great migration. In Mombasa they are called cottages, but up the beach in Malindi they become Villas and around Naivasha they are Chalets. The names are not a function of architecture, but semantics. They are generally the same thing. In a cottage, you take care of your cooking, washing and are generally left to your own designs as opposed to a hotel setting where meal times are specific and they arrange for your entertainment during the day and in the evenings. Cottages are good for groups of friends who know their way around. Home holidays are also in vogue and it is common to hear of vacationers who exchange their homes for a week or so. A family in Mombasa naturally wants to be out of the migration’s way and the easiest way is to leave their home to trusted friends or relatives from upcountry; who in turn will make available their home. To ensure the visitors settle comfortably, some arrangement for resident servants can be made. It is a cost effective way of seeing the country especially if you have relatives and friends in far-flung corners of the country.

Two recent developments will aid the movement of vacationers to and from the coast. Firstly, Kenya Airways has dedicated their latest birds to the insatiable traffic on the NBO-MSA-NBO route. Although their deliberate policy of overbooking each and every flight does not ensure universal satisfaction for all travellers, they still deliver a quality product compared to the planes and service of the 90s. On the other hand, a new carrier, Fly 540 has joined the route with an enticing Kshs.5, 450/= price (there is a * attached which could only mean 3,200/= in taxes) for a return trip as compared to the Kshs.16, 900/= (or 11,700/=if you are organised enough to book months before) charged by KQ and Kshs. 12,200/= by East African. The Fly 540 capacity cannot dent KQ’s dominance of the route and can only gratify any grousers who need another airline for the sake of change.

The second development has been a while taking shape. With the severe damage occasioned by the El Nino rains in 1998, the Mombasa highway has almost been rebuilt anew. In 2002, the 150 kilometer section between Mtito Andei and Bachuma Gate was reconstructed by China Road & Bridge Corporation. The 90 km section between Bachuma Gate and Mariakani was also re-carpeted, but without proper shoulders. Early this year the 150 km Mtito Andei- Sultan Hamud section was completed by Strabag. The 70 km section between Machakos turn-off and Mlolongo though rough and uneven is still good by our standards. In the near future, this section will be a dual carriageway. At the opposite end, work on the 35 km Mariakani-Miritini section has already started and in fact some seven kilometers is already open. The super efficient China Road & Bridge Corporation are on site. The four hundred and eighty five kilometer journey to the coast is kaleidoscopic with some 100 kilometers of above average roads, 300 kilometers of probably the best continuous road in the country, some 35 kilometers of the worst surface pretending to be a road anywhere in the world. The rest is taken by dual carriageways that start and end your journey on both ends. It is rumored that the Sultan Hamud-Mtito Andei section shaved some kilometers by bypassing a couple of small towns like Machinery. Whether one is using a self-drive car or public means, the road is now largely good. Self-drive is possible inside five hours with leisurely stops in between, while public means takes a painfully long eight hours. For a car consuming a liter for every 12 kilometers, you need 40 liters which will cost Kshs. 3,112/=. That is assuming you are not driving a monster or faster than the legal 110 kph. Coast Bus costs between Kshs. 1,100/=, 1,500/= and 1,800/= per person depending on luxury standards of the bus. Most of the other transporters will charge up to1, 500/= in view of the season.

Once you find your way, there is plenty to do at the coast and traditionally the beach visit is a must for both swimmers and the sinking type. A shopping tour of the island is also recommended. The five storied and themed Nawal Centre at Mwembe Tayari is a novelty even for the know-it-all seen-it-all Nairobian. Fort Jesus with a guide still ranks up there for those with a thing for history. So is a guided tour of the old town and port around Fort Jesus. Away from the island, the Haller Park in Bamburi and Ngomongo Village in Shanzu are both educative and a good way of spending half a day. Bob’s pub in Nyali is the place for the quintessential Nairobian to be seen. Sunday night live performance by Mombasa Roots is worth the time and money. The Mtwapa suburb has a bohemian feel about it and for the night owls it’s the one neighbourhood that never sleeps. The Moorings in the Mtwapa Creek is a quiet floating restaurant that is ideal for adults looking for a quiet time. Further out, you have Shimba Hills National Reserve to the south through the Likoni Channel. The Park borders Kwale town and is small and near enough for a half day excursion from Mombasa. If you have appetite for the exotic, Wasini Island past the Shimoni village would be ideal. Hire a boat and go see the dolphins. The border point at Lunga Lunga is only 90 kilometres from Mombasa and if you are polite to immigration officers on both sides, you can be allowed to walk “abroad” to the makeshift Horo Horo town on the Tanzania side. South of Mombasa has borne the brunt of the recent floods and it is good to get an up-to-date brief on the road’s condition, but it’s a good and near destination if you want to see the Tiomin country, the collapsed Ramisi sugar factory and irrigation scheme or detour into the Tiwi, Diani or Shelly beaches. North Coast is a favourite for many. Vipingo, Kilifi,Gede, Watamu, Malindi are all within a day’s reach from Mombasa and are exiting destinations with an array of possibilities to fit a couple of day’s itinerary.

Other popular destinations this festive season include. -Naivasha -Nanyuki -Nakuru, Bogoria, Baringo -Narok.

So, if a stampede is your idea of fun, see you at the coast. I will be the portly guy in shorts and ill fitting Hawaiian shirt sweating profusely.

Happy Holidays.

Communicating in a Crisis- What to do when your reputation and image takes a beating.

2009-12-10T11:36:00.002+03:00

The last few weeks have borne two classic examples of why individuals and corporate should all have a plan for that bad day when their reputations like a set of dominoes will start collapsing despite their best efforts.

Locally we had the G4S losing millions of their client’s money. This is a company that has sold itself as the bastion of security for your premises, money in transit, vendor of security solutions, et al. Their armoured vehicles have a ubiquitous presence in Nairobi and around the country. Being an international company with British roots helped to solidify their credentials. All that solidity was shattered by three robberies that cost G4S more than the millions lost. Their reputation was shattered and suddenly they seemed so vulnerable. Creative and mischievous minds turned them into a butt of crude and heartless joke. G4S was now “Gone in 4 Seconds”, copies of tricked-up pictures of their guards holding multi-million cheques won in imaginary “Ponyoka na Pick-up” promotions started doing rounds on the internet.

After taking such a beating, they rushed to Gina Din Communications (www.ginadin.com ), a leading Nairobi PR firm that has a measure of success in crisis management having worked with Kenya Airways after the West Africa plane crashes. G4S further appointed a CEO for the East Africa Region as a means of re-assuring their clients. This was telling especially after a hint of internal discontent after the recent appointment of the first indigenous Kenyan MD for the Kenyan operation.

Away from Kenya, the last two weeks have seen Tiger Woods, the first athlete to earn a billion dollars going through a nightmare of sorts that he at first dismissed with a minor statement about being involved in a “one –vehicle accident”, but later admitted that, “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.”

It all started when the US Weekly run a cover story to the effect that Tiger could be cheating on his wife. Tiger has managed to create a Mr. Clean image and hence attracted millions in commercial endorsements. The article triggered a tiff at the Tigers home which led to the said accident and the subsequent flood of close to ten women claiming to have had affairs with Tiger Woods. The women range from porn star Holly Sampson, to bar hostesses from around the US and world. There are rumors of Tiger buying the silence of some in an effort to keep them away from sharing with the world the sordid details of their trysts.

Meanwhile, the networks are in hot pursuit of an interview with the famously private Woods, whose carefully managed and no longer "squeaky clean" image is the real victim in this mess. The golfer is said to be mulling an offer to tell all there is to tell on Oprah's comfy couch about his so-called "transgressions." Crisis management experts say it's the best thing he could do. His initial stalling and treating the matter as a trivial one was not good. For instance Nick Allen notes in the Daily Telegraph that, “you cannot stonewall the internet and the 24-hour news channels. Everyone Twitters, everyone has a camera, and while Woods remains silent, wilder and wilder reports, some true others not, will fill the void he leaves". Reports that his mother-in-law has been hospitalized after fainting and his wife fleeing to a Swedish island near Stockholm just show that this saga has not peaked yet.

These two examples just go to show that no person or corporate is immune to a crisis once in a while. If it has not happened to you, it will happen soon. What is important is that you should have a plan and your plan should involve a very healthy dose of telling the whole truth and nothing else. You should also consult an image and reputation practitioner soonest possible. Publicists are not usually good at this; they are usually fair weather staff. During a crisis, you need discreet and honest professional help.

There is no image that is too solid.

Birds and Bees

2009-11-16T17:55:00.002+03:00

My daughter Natasha is only six years and three months. In her rather hectic life filled to the brim with homework, fights with the brother, riding her bike, attending birthday parties, blackmailing and arm-twisting me for new shoes, a movie, satellite TV renewal for the holidays and generally being a resident nuisance, she does have an occasional minute here or there when she makes rather deep and reflective statements which momentarily gives me a glimpse of her psyche. The other day we were talking in one such moment when serious stuff finds a way of popping up. So there we were all alone in the sitting room. Father on the sofa and daughter on the floor with back leaning on my sofa, when she goes, “Dad, sometimes I wish I had a sister”, and I go like “Why baby? You have your brother Gregory”. Does she want us to buy her a sister, I ask keeping with my usual line? “Babies come from the stomach” she retorts. “Who told you that? I ask. She goes on like she didn’t hear me. “But anyway, mum says she won’t carry another baby in her stomach. As if she is on cue, she moves on. “Dad, do you know that you cannot get a baby if you are not married”? Phew I mutter in my mind grateful that rules reign in her world. This is getting interesting and I need to keep her talking just to understand how much she knows and for me to find out if I am too late for the birds and bees story. This is not a subject you plan and diarize, that at age seven in 2010, I will have the “talk” with my baby. During my time, we learnt such stuff during the biology class and that too only in second form. Today the kids are learning so much from a barrage of media channels and peers. But what is the right age to start? Anyways, I wanted Natasha to talk some more and in a very evenly toned voice I pick her cue hoping that she will be encouraged to unleash more six-year-old wisdom. “Baby, is that so?” “Yes” she responds taking my hook. Seeming hell-bent on getting over her did-you-know-script, she comes back with one that almost gets me to sit up from the sofa. “Did you know that in a wedding if you kiss for too long, you could get a curse?” I am almost tempted to take a diversion and ask if she knows what a curse is, but wishing to stay with the theme and for lack of anything wiser to say, I retort “who told you that now? She responds with no hesitation that, “another girl told me”. The parent-ish thing to do would be to ask her “which girl” with a view to finding fault in her friend’s world-view or that of her parent’s, but again I want to keep this going on. So I use the only line that seems to work and ask “baby, is that so?” And ignoring me once again, she digs from her list of must-share-this-tidbits-with-dad and seeming to be addressing no one in particular she says, “To get babies you must sleep in the same bed with someone…gross!” Her list exhausted, she says nothing more and before I can compose myself and determine what to say next, Natasha has bolted into another room.

What should kids know about sex and at what age?

Some Minor Changes

2009-11-14T14:33:00.003+03:00

I have made some changes in my template and added a bit of functionality on my blog. I hope its easy on the eye. As usual Blogger makes it so easy for the tech-challenged majority like me. I will make some more changes after a month or so.

Why?

2009-11-14T13:24:00.006+03:00

Why are our world-beating athletes not national heroes? Why do we go gaga over foreign heroes? Why does Usain Bolt cause such a stir in Kenya while our own world beating multiple record holders pass through our airports and into village-bound decrepit matatus? Why do we treat our athletes like a herd? Why send them to State House in a big group? Why not pick out the shining stars amongst them for private audience with the President? Wouldn’t such a gesture give the young upcoming athletes something to aim for? What has AK done to help our athletes improve their PR skills? Why do they assume that the much-maligned agents will invest in our products? After all, don’t these agents see Kenya as a never stopping conveyer belt for raw-untapped athletes? Why don’t any of our athletes last beyond two or three seasons? Why does Haile and Kenenisa seem to go on like energizer batteries? Who is their equivalent in Kenya? Why doesn’t corporate Kenya adopt the shining stars amongst our athletes and start symbiotic relationships? Why doesn’t the biggest PR agency of the land do some CSR and help out athletes in articulation? What are our famed personal coaches doing about it? Why do Tegla Lorupe and Paul Tergat remain relevant so many years past their prime? Is it a personality thing? If so, why do we blame Usain Bolt for having a magnetic and charismatic personality? What can we do about it here at home?

Police Force Rivalry

2009-11-12T09:57:00.001+03:00

As the current struggle and sibling rivalry between Regular and Administration Police unfolds, the contrast between the two forces is glaring and it seems that public perception favours the APs. The Administration Police are a shining example of what reforms can do. Go out and test run their efficacy today. I recently met a District AP Commander in one of the more volatile districts and was impressed by his confidence and articulation of the Force’s vision and mission. Every District commander is trained out of the country at least once a year. When funds are disintegrated, the portion that goes to Regular Police can hardly be seen to achieve anything, whereas the APs have provided housing to the districts, vehicles, Mobile spikes in every vehicle, procured the anti-riot kit that made its public debut during the 2008 clashes and was known as the robots, created a Rapid Deployment Unit (RDU), faithfully implement their strategic plan annually, they also hold an Annual General Meeting in which all seniors from districts and HQ congregate in Mombasa for a number of days and bond, review performance and get inspired by motivational and technical talks from NSIS, American Embassy, etc.

The boys in blue n the other hand are accused of ignoring security which is their core business and focusing almost all their energies on traffic. It is obvious that traffic management pays good and regular bribes and it seems like the whole force is now focused on controlling traffic, harassing truck and matatu owners. A small unit in the Ministry of Transport should be created to deal with such issues. A Metropolitan force in Nairobi can combine what the traffic police do now with a bit of the inspection role played by City askaris. Do you ever wonder why we invest so much in traffic lights and never give them a chance? I want to imagine that cops have a vested interest and won’t allow us to use such lights. They reap more when we all get chaotic during the rush hours!

It is not all rosy in the AP force though, there are down sides too, for instance, the force lacks prosecutorial powers and must pass through their blue adorned colleagues, there exists a conflict with their Provincial Administration superiors who liberally use the force for political ends at the behest of politicians.

When all is said and done though, the country needs a unified police force made up of specialist units and not two rival forces trying hard to outshine and embarrass each other and win the public’s hearts with largely empty publicity gimmicks and theatrics.

While at it, shouldn’t the current so called reforms be considering the need to create a Metropolitan Police Force for Nairobi City?

If Jesus Had A Kenyan Wife

2009-11-09T09:19:00.006+03:00

I got this from a mail forward and I thought it was funny. Girls, is it true that even Jesus would not have been good enough by your standards. Reminds me of a recent biography of the Obamas in which Michelle is alleged to have dismissed Barrack's early community organizing work as not good enough for her. She wanted him to get a real job with real pay!

___________

”What do you mean you were wandering in the desert for forty days? Don't give me that fake story about not eating or drinking for forty days and then you come up with a cock-and-bull story ati you were being tempted by Satan, what do you take me for, alaaah?? I think you must be having an affair with some woman but you are too dumb to come up with a convincing lie. Ebu try another! You mean that other woman was not cooking for you for all those 40 days, mlikuwa munaimba kwaya??”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

”The other day I heard that you asked a certain Samarian woman for water. Does it mean that our tap has run dry for you to go begging for water?Keringet imeisha Nakumatt? Kwanza do you know whether she boils her water, venye kuna kipindupindu na Typhoid? I figure out that you were not actually after any water... you had your own ‘watery’ designs ! Why did you ask her about her husband, so that you vamiaher?? Wewe Yesu, wewe?? Umeanza ukora si ndio?!? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

”And what about that woman who touched you (your Kanzu) and you said she felt well. Heeh?!? She felt good! Where did she feel good?! Answer me! Where?! How? I also need to feel good saa huu huu! I swear if I catch you na huyo kinyangarika wako, I'm leaving and I'm taking the kids with me, sitaki upuzi wako! Then eventually you will have to face my father and the whole cabinet of our clan, ati feeling well? My foot!!”. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

”I wish you would just settle down and focus on your caperntry career instead of just hanging out and zururaring with that team of yours! Kwanza that Simon Peter guy, mimi simpendi, aende akanyoe hizo mandevu zake, pengine zina vigunyoo! Huyo Mark anaonekana kama chori na Mathew aliniitisha chai bila heshima kaa ambae Ketepa imeandikwa kwa uso wangu, simtaki hapa kwangu, na yule John anatembea kama Kidungumaria,nilmuona vile namwangalia maid wetu na macho za kugwara,aahh? kwani ni lazma utembee nao? You used to be a great carpenter, lakini ma-sofa ya watu na Shoe Racks za tangu last year haujawamalizia wateja, wee kazi yako ni kurandaranda, ati unaponya watu, si uniponye mimi kwanza?!?Nataka kuponywa mpaka nichizike; haaahhhh!! What happened to that ka-trip ulisema utanipeleka, kwa ile beach ya Lake Galilee? Siku hizi wee ni mrongo saana! At least you used to be able to put food on the table when you had a steady jobo. Watu wa kwetu wanataka mjukuu mwengine, so, ni lazma ufanye OT, sitaki kujua! You need to grow up and take responsibilities, mii sikuja hapa kuwa sanamu ukutani, nataka nipige nduru kama yule mke wa Barnabas!”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

”You have been bragging around that you fed some five thousand people with only some few loaves of bread and two pieces of fish when your family here ata chipoh za Kenchick ni matanga kupata! Can’t you see that we are suffering from malnutrition? Eti "Magic"!? What magic? Can't you perform that magic in our matrimonial home and give us enough Pizzas na Matobosha, na samaki wa kupaka na Chapoh kama tray kadhaa hivi to eat for a lifetime?!? Now, that will be magic ya nguvu! Give us a good house, wee si ni Carpenter, nyumba yavuja kama kichungi cha chai, na wewe una-do?? By the way, nataka chapaa za shopping nika-buy zile Jeans pencil and ear rings, ornaments na kadhalika, yaaaani, give us riches, umesikia??I’m not buying hii stori ati you are going around and feeding other people with borrowed or begged food, kwani wee ni AMREF au Shirika la Msalaba Nyekundu??” xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

”I think that you have been taking me all along for a ride kaa mimi ni Tamarind Dhow. I don't need a hippie for a husband; I need to feel like other wives feel! You spend all day with those twelve jerks and sometimes you are gone for weeks on end; mimi najua munaenda wapi, kwa nani na kwa nini??. You don't spend enough time with me neither with the kids. I need to feel loved. Where did the romance go: down the Dead sea? Sometimes I think you put your jerks and those 'vinyangarikas' before me. I need to feel like I am number one in your life, au kuna mwengine na mimi nimezubaa hapa kama pimbi??” xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

”And by the way,I don't like how one of your buddies looks at me. That your boy Judas. He keeps coming around when you are out for apparently no reason. Mara anataka hiki, mara ataka kile, simuelewi! He kept popping in every few days when you were gone for those forty days. He gives me the creeps. You need to check on the homies you move around with au nitawapiga marufuku wasije hapa tena; have I made myself crystal clear?!?”

The Reform Agenda and Kenya’s Historic Opportunity Speech to the Law Society of Kenya By U.S. Ambassador Michael Ranneberger October 30, 2009

2009-11-09T09:03:00.003+03:00

Thank you for inviting me to speak today. It is an honor to address Kenya’s legal community and to share ideas about the way forward at this critical juncture in the country’s history.

Historic Opportunity for Fundamental Change

Recently a commentator in one of the leading newspapers asked “who will save us from the abyss?” Kenyans across the political, social, and ethnic spectrum are expressing profound concerns about whether the country is headed toward another crisis in the lead-up to the 2012 elections. Having recently been in Washington, I can testify that President Obama shares these concerns. Kofi Annan reflected these preoccupations during his most recent visit when he referred to the Kenyan people’s crisis of confidence in the leadership of their country. In all corners of Kenya, one hears intelligent appreciation of what must be done to avert a crisis: full implementation of the reform agenda to which the coalition government committed itself. The progress – or lack of it – on implementation of the reforms and what can be done to encourage and support implementation are, therefore, the most urgent issues facing the nation.

Kenya is at a crossroads. The window is fast closing for the meaningful reforms Kenya must undertake in order to avoid a repeat of the 2008 violence – or worse – and to ensure a stable and prosperous democratic future. To paraphrase the American poet Robert Frost, Kenya faces two divergent paths. One leads back to conflict, economic crisis, and the ruin of innocent lives. The other leads to a more stable, prosperous, and open society in which corruption and impunity are no longer tolerated. It is the determination to take the path less traveled that will indeed make all the difference for the future of this vibrant country.

The Law Society of Kenya is a well-respected and unique organization in that its members represent all facets of Kenya’s legal community. You come from all the regions and ethnic communities of Kenya, and collectively represent a brain trust of remarkable expertise. Among your members are many of the prominent officials charged with overseeing key portions of the reform process, including the Chairperson of the Independent Boundary Review Commission; the Chairperson and six of the members of the Committee of Experts on the Constitution; the Vice Chair of the Truth, Justice, and Reconciliation Commission; members of the Police Reform Task Force; and a number of Members of Parliament who chair important committees. You have in the past played a very critical role in charting the path that this country has taken in the democratization process. You continue to be a beacon of hope for many Kenyans. I urge you to increase your engagement in support of the reform process, including encouraging and supporting your colleagues who occupy these important reform-minded positions to put their hearts and minds without reservation into the tasks before them for the benefit of Kenya.

The reform process is the most urgent issue for the international community’s relations with Kenya, because the United States and all Kenya’s partners want to see a stable and prosperous democratic future for this country. President Obama knows the impressive quality of the people of Kenya and the great potential of this country. That is why he and his Administration are pushing hard to ensure that Kenyans seize the opportunity, opened up by the crisis last year, to bring about fundamental change. We will not relent.

Progress Overshadowed by the Culture of Impunity

In considering the challenges Kenya faces today, let me pause to take stock of what has been achieved. Since independence Kenya has had an upward trajectory marked by important milestones: independence, the establishment of multi-party democracy, the smooth transition between former President Moi and President Kibaki, the holding of the first truly democratic election in Kenya’s history; and the subsequent achievement of an unprecedented 7 percent rate of growth, to name only some.

And yet, the culture of impunity has hung like a dark cloud over the country, retarding growth. How much greater could Kenya’s trajectory have been? True turning points in history are rare and even more rarely understood at the time. But Kenyans and foreign observers alike can all see that Kenya is at such a turning point. Can leaders seize the opportunity to end the culture of impunity and launch a process of fundamental change through implementation of the comprehensive reform agenda?

I believe that the Kenyan people are determined to see this done, and that makes me positive about the future of the country. At the same time, I am realistic and recognize that tackling the culture of impunity requires a Herculean effort. I know that there are strong and influential vested interests which are fighting against change through political manipulation and corruption, through intimidation, and even through violence.

That is why it is essential to encourage people to press their leaders – and the entire political class – to move rapidly to implement the reform agenda. Democracy only works effectively when people clearly and peacefully make their views known to their elected leaders. President Kibaki and Prime Minister Odinga and parliamentarians need to hear a more concerted message from the Kenyan people on the importance of implementing reforms. You can exert leadership to help mobilize that concerted message.

The coalition government has been in office for almost 18 months, since the Cabinet was formed in May of 2008. There have been some achievements, but much more should have been accomplished, and must be accomplished within the next 8-12 months. If not, the window of opportunity to bring about fundamental change will be lost – as most Kenyans already realize – with dire consequences for the nation.

On the positive side, the electoral commission was disbanded and the Interim Independent Electoral Commission was set up. The Waki and Kriegler Commissions delivered credible, detailed reports laying out a roadmap for key reforms. The Truth, Justice, and Reconciliation Commission has been established, as well as the Boundary Commission. And there have been some other modest steps as well.

Perhaps most importantly, the government has signaled its intention to implement far-reaching police reform, and has begun the process by changing the police leadership. This, coupled with the resignation of the Director of the Kenyan Anti-Corruption Commission (KACC), opens the possibility for real reform to make the legal system more effective, unbiased, transparent, and corruption-free. We have made clear that we will maintain pressure for implementation of the entire reform agenda, but that we will support reforms when they are undertaken and backed by real and sustained political will.

Fundamental Reforms

While acknowledging some progress, the most important reforms that are needed to end the culture of impunity and to ensure future democratic stability and prosperity have either not been implemented or are moving at an alarmingly slow pace which mitigates in favor of the status quo.

n No steps have been taken to hold accountable the principal perpetrators of post-election violence.

n Decisive, bold steps against corruption have not been launched.

n Far-reaching judicial reform has not been undertaken.

n The Attorney General’s office remains an obstacle to effective anti-corruption efforts and thus to reform.

n The constitutional revision process is moving slowly and could prove disastrously divisive unless the coalition partners cooperate to support key changes.

n Major and complex issues relating to districts, the census, and preparation of a new voter list must be resolved.

Each element of these reforms is vital to Kenya’s future.

Constitutional Revision

Meaningful and comprehensive constitutional revision is crucial to create a framework in which all Kenyans can compete without fear that any ethnic group or community will be disadvantaged. The election of the NARC government in 2001 and the peaceful transition of power was a time of hope and expectation in Kenya. The biggest expectation was the one call that brought NARC to power: the promise to deliver a new constitution. If a new constitution had been passed that addressed important issues effectively, it might have prevented or solved a number of divisive problems now facing this country. I agree with the increasingly unified voice of Kenyans who are insisting that it is critical to have a new constitution now, and not at some undefined future date. In addition, that constitution must address the difficult issues head-on, including the structure of executive power, the system for devolution, and judicial independence. The Law Society of Kenya, due to the talents and abilities of its members, has been at the forefront of constructive dialogue on constitutional reform for many years. I urge you now to redouble and revitalize your energies in this direction so that this historic opportunity is not lost.

Rule of Law

Rule of law reform is essential to assure Kenyans that everyone regardless of their class, social status, or ethnicity will be protected and given justice. Public perception that the court system lacks impartiality and is riddled by corruption is a major concern. Because all the elements of the criminal justice system are interdependent, police and judicial reforms are closely linked. We are encouraged that the government appears to recognize that the culture of policing in Kenya needs to undergo some fundamental changes in order to better serve the Kenyan people and to be in line with modern international policing standards. I have told the government that the United States is ready to support reform of the police if the Task Force recommendations are implemented, and that we will provide assistance to make the Kenya Anti-Corruption Commission more effective if credible new leadership is chosen through a transparent process. Among the most important police reforms are the establishment of effective internal and external oversight mechanisms to curb corruption and human rights abuses, and the establishment of a Police Service Commission. Extrajudicial killings must be fully investigated and stopped.

Accountability

Bringing inciters and financiers of violence to account is vital to send a strong message to those who choose to think that violence is a viable strategy to influence the political process. Kenya needs to become a place where it is no longer politically acceptable or advantageous to exploit and worsen inter-ethnic tensions, to pay voters or youths to carry out acts of violence, or to organize local militias with the express purpose of terrorizing and punishing innocent citizens. We continue to urge that a credible independent Special Tribunal be established in Kenya and that Kenya fully cooperate with the International Criminal Court to investigate and prosecute those suspected of orchestrating and supporting post-election violence.

Kenya in the Globalized World

In today’s globalized world, no leader or nation can stand alone. Every leader and nation, whether commenting on global issues or the situation in another country, must do so while acknowledging that his or her own country is not immune from criticism. This is perhaps especially true of the United States for, as President Obama has stated, to whom much has been given much is expected. The world rightly comments on our short-comings – whether with respect to the continuing challenges we face to achieve true racial equality, with respect to the growing disparity in income between our rich and our poor, with respect to abuses of detainees at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, or with respect to our foreign policy, just to name a few issues. Profoundly cognizant of our own limitations, we seek to play a responsible global role based on the mutual interests that we share.

Kenya and the United States have long shared a deep friendship and partnership based on the extensive ties between our people and, increasingly, on shared democratic values. It is within this context and in this spirit that we speak out about the reform agenda and its vital importance to Kenya’s future.

Today I reiterate the calls of Secretary of State Clinton and President Obama for Kenya’s leadership to listen to the voices of its people and to undertake implementation of the key reforms I have listed above with a much, much greater sense of urgency. All of us know what must be done. There is no more time for commissions, rhetoric, obfuscation, and half-steps.

U.S. Efforts to Propel Reform

Our efforts to press for implementation of reforms are both private and public. Privately, we are maintaining intensive dialogue with the coalition leadership, parliamentarians, and actors across the political, social, and economic landscape. That dialogue is frank and constructive. Publicly, we are continuing to encourage the Kenyan people to press peacefully for implementation of reforms. We are involved in a number of other activities aimed at promoting implementation of reforms. These include expanded outreach to Members of Parliament; support for independent grassroots youth organizations; and intensified contacts with civil society, the private sector, the media, and religious organizations, to name only a few.

We are providing millions of dollars to support the reform agenda, including technical and financial assistance to Parliament, civil society, land reform, the Interim Independent Electoral Commission, and constitutional reform, among other areas. In the coming weeks we will be announcing new initiatives to expand this engagement: through increased support for grassroots youth organizations, empowerment of women, increased support for reform-minded parliamentarians, and expanded dialogue with civil society. As the elite representatives of Kenya’s legal profession, you have a special responsibility to employ your expertise to support and press for implementation of the reform agenda.

In Wizard of the Crow, the great Kenyan writer Ngugi wa Thiong’o’s magical, spellbinding novel about Kenya -- thinly disguised as another fictional African nation -- he writes of the heroine: “Helpless, she sought, as usual, solace in work, burying herself even more deeply in the day-to-day details of the People’s Assembly, rallying around the call for the return of their (the people’s) collective voice. Their activities would climax in a day of self-renewal during which the people would….renew their vows to step up efforts to steer the country in a different path.” Most Kenyans I talk with say that their country is in a state of crisis right now, and that the country needs to move in a different path – towards fundamental change.

Thankfully, Kenya is not burning, but these Kenyans rightly sense that the historic opportunity to bring about fundamental change and to avoid a repeat of the crisis last year will be lost without urgent implementation of the reform agenda. Yet, in the absence of a dramatic crisis, along the lines of what Kenyans experienced last year, it is hard to mobilize in a concerted way to exert peaceful pressure for change. It is important that all Kenyans who want to see peaceful change come together in a more coordinated fashion to send an unequivocal message to the entire political class on the need for reform.

I have repeatedly observed that the crisis last year was resolved by the Kenyan people precisely because they came together in a concerted way, with the help of the United States, Kofi Annan and the Eminent Persons, and other international friends. The United States could only play the helpful role it did because we were supporting the Kenyan people. Neither we nor others can impose an outside agenda for change. The reform agenda was drafted by Kenya’s leaders – and now the Kenyan people must hold those leaders accountable for its implementation.

Secretary Clinton and President Obama have both stated that we will not do business as usual with those who do not support reform or who support violence. Thus, earlier this week Assistant Secretary for African Affairs Johnnie Carson – a great friend of Kenya – announced that the United States has imposed a visa ban on a very senior Kenyan government official, and that we are considering a number of such visa bans. We will take additional actions if the reform agenda does not move forward.

Our President, a son of Kenya, wants to see a stable and prosperous democratic future for this nation. No true friend of Kenya, no true Kenyan patriot can want anything less. Failure to grasp the historic opportunity Kenya now has in its hands would be unconscionable. To take up this challenge and carry out reforms will require heroic leadership and responsible pressure by the Kenyan people. This is a daunting task. Some would say that the odds are stacked against success, but I reject that categorically. The Kenyan people rose to the unprecedented challenge they faced last year, and I am confident that they will do so again, with the support and encouragement of their friends. Today we can see a growing awareness by Kenyans of the need for change, and dynamics shifting in the direction of reform. These dynamics include a more assertive Parliament, more constructive activism by youth, and a citizenry that is more outspoken. Kenya has no greater relationship than with the United States, and thus we have a great responsibility to engage to our utmost to help Kenyans build a stable democratic future in which the well-being of all will be advanced through shared prosperity.

Thank you.

Can we do without the Kenyan politician?

2009-09-27T14:23:00.002+03:00

I recently had the opportunity to watch a classic movie "My Fair Lady", which is the story of Eliza Doolittle, a cockney flower girl who takes speech lessons from professor Henry Higgins so that she can pass as a lady. Higgins takes credit for Eliza's success, but she realizes that she can now be independent and does not need him. The musical's 1956 broadway production was a smash hit, setting a new record for the longest run of any major musical theatre production in history. It was followed by a hit London production, a popular film version, and numerous revivals. It has been called "the perfect musical."

One of the more memorable songs in the musical is "without you" and after watching it, I paraphrased the lyrics into a beffiting song called "Kenya Without You" What fools we were, what dominated fools. To think that politicians were the earth and sky What fools we were, what elevated fools What kichwa maji we were No our reverberating friends You are not a beginning and the end There’ll be rains every year without you Kenya still will be here without you There’ll be fruit on the tree And a shore by the sea There’ll be mandazi and tea without you Art and music will thrive without you Somehow our mashairi will survive without you And there still will be rain on that plain down in Litein Even that will remain without you, we can do without you You, dear politician, you taught so well You can go to Hague, Local Tribunal or TJRC There can still be rulers in Kenya without you State House will stand without you And without much ado we can All muddle through without you Without pulling it, the tide comes in Without your twirling it, the Earth can spin Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by If they can do without you, ducky so can we We will not feel alone without you We can stand on our own without you So go back in your shell We can do bloody well without you By George, we really will do it, will do it, will do it We said, we’d make a nation and indeed we will do it We know that we can do it, we know , we know We said we’d make a nation and succeed we will Kenyan you’re magnificent

African Airlines & The Private Jets of Presidents

2009-06-15T17:39:00.016+03:00

Dusty and neglected on the tarmac is this giant jet (probably a DC ) that was used by the president in the past, now forgoten and forlon.

A newer jet is now in place for the leader's personal use. This is a country without an Airforce. No second airport and hence the president's private splendour is right there for all to see. In a continent with about 40 airline's paractically all leaders have one or two private planes at their disposal. For instance, King Mswati III recently bought a new private jet for £28 million. Yet a quarter of his country needs food aid, 22 per cent of them have HIV, and the entire Swazi health budget is pounds £12.6 million.

Apart from the private airplanes for personal use of the African leader, the continent has about 40 airlines. Africa Airlines Association http://www.afraa.org/ based in Nairobi has amongst its memebrship many private airlines-an emerging trend- due to the continuing demise of oft mismanaged national carriers. A more recent addition is Virgin Nigeria which is flying to new destiantions in the West Africa region with predictable frequency.

Virgin Nigeria is an offshoot of Virgin Atlantic owned by Branson. This airline continues to fly to and from all the corners of Africa using the regional hubs of Johanesburg, Nairobi, Lagos, etc to link the continent with the rest of the world.

Kenya Airways though smaller than the giants of African skys-South African Airways, Ethiopian, Air Maroc, Tunisair and Air Algerie, - has continued to perform better and is well loved in the regions they serve outside Kenya, especially West Africa.

CVA from Cape Verde is a private airline that has been in operation since 1956. Not many national airlines can claim such longevity. I loved their professional demeanor.

Nigeria has numerous local airlines like Arik Air, Aero Contractors, Afrijet, Bellview, Capital Airlines Chanchangi Airlines, Dana Air, IRS Airlines and Virgin Nigerian flying to various destinations within the country and in the region. Bellview above is one of the bigger and busier ones. Others are Arik and Virgin Nigeria. One in every four Africans is a Nigerian and that should explain why they have so many airlines.

2009-06-15T17:35:00.000+03:00

African Airports & Airlines

2009-06-15T14:59:00.011+03:00

The Lagos Transit Lounge- Lonely if you must spend the night between flights

Lagos' Murtala Mohammed Airport from the tarmac

Named after a past Nigerian leader, as is the practice in Africa

Dakar Airport from the tarmac

Banjul Airport- recently upgraded from a cattle shed-like structure by an AU meeting in 2006

Dakar's Léopold Sédar Senghor International Airport Airport from the street- ongoing construction works. Nothing fancy to warrant all the fascination US Presidents have for Senegal.Patrick Smith (columnist), author of the long-running 'Ask the Pilot' column for Salon.com, called it the 'World's Worst Airport', commenting that he found there 'only squalor, an unnerving sense of confinement and to some extent danger'. I agree- I missed my connection due to the immigration officer's insistence on talking french only to proudly let me know of their prowess in english after the connecting flight was long gone!

Bamako's Senou International Airport - they have frenchmen cleaning plane cabins and supplying food. In Africa! In 2009!

In time for the president's birthday

2009-06-15T14:28:00.006+03:00

We landed in Banjul on 25th May which was the President's 44th birthday. The day was a public holiday, ostensibly Africa Day, but by the look of the billboards on all highways, it is H.E. President Sheikh Professor Alhaji Dr. Yahya Jammeh's annual partying day. The local media reported the coming to town of a plane load of Nollywood actors and musicians to entertain the head of state. The country was on a go-slow the next morning and everybody blamed it on all the partying. For a pesident so young, Gambia will pay a heavy annual price to keep the big man humoured for years to come!

First Impressions

2009-05-28T21:00:00.002+03:00

The Gambia is a wonderful country. Having said that, the aviation world has not been fair to this tourist gem because everybody who is here has some untoward experience to narrate about the difficulties and at times comitragic distances they had to cover to get here. Can you imagine a South African having to fly to Brussels and then back to West Africa. Even Nigerian and Ghanians who are literally next door neighbour have to struggle to get here. Nobody got here on less than three flights. For me it is a sad statement about how much work African states need to do to dismantle the borders that hinder travel and commerce. Many delegates from Nigeria had to drive from Dakar by road. Kenya Airways is doing booming business connecting many of the major capitals in West and Central Africa, but hopping from those main hubs of Lagos, Dakar, Freetown to the smaller state capitals is impossible. Just this month Air Senegal has collapsed and Bellview had problems with the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authorities. This left many of the delegates hoping to come down either with useless tickets or stranded with no connections. Virgin Air Nigeria will start flying from July 1st into Banjul and that will offer the best connection yet to Gambia because Lagos has got lots of air traffic from the rest of Africa. The tourism industry here hardly uses scheduled airlines and is dependant on Air Charters from UK and other European capitals. If the air connections to Gambia are sorted out, this country stands to gain alot from regional tourism courtesy of the regional powerhouses like Nigeria and Ghana. Further afield they can easily attract tourism business from Southern Africa, South America, Europe all which are within reach. I wish the "Siling Coast of Africa" all the best and promise to be a lifelong ambassador.

Banjul here comes Kenya

2009-05-22T16:36:00.002+03:00

The 22nd All Africa Public Relations Conference will be held between 24th and 28th May at the Sheraton Hotel, Banjul and a delegation of Kenyan PR practitioners will attend and represent the motherland. I will be amongst the group mingling and networking with my colleagues and peers; in no hurry. Usually when we meet in our professional body meetings and events, we are harried and pressed for time. I therefore look forward to a relaxed week, learning one or two things about the country and how my peers from around Africa are communicating. I will keep you posted.....

Burnt Out

2009-05-20T15:57:00.003+03:00

Does anyone ever get a feeling like the time left is less than time spent? I am feeling like this candle- very little of me is left. There seems to be so much more to do in such little time. How does one extend the time available to them? Is it about better time management? Is it about self awareness? What is it?

Migingo & The Art Of State Propaganda

2009-04-17T15:28:00.002+03:00

For a while now, I have pondered over the importance of what I will call The Migingo Saga.

Why is Migingo happening now? At the initial stages of the saga, analysts thought it was a ploy by Museveni to rally Ugandans together againist the "big bad rich neighbour". On close scrutiny, one realises that Kenyan leaders are the ones that needed to divert the nation's attention from pressing problems of famine and drought, corruption, mis-rule and general lack of leadership.

Everytime I try to place the importance and relevance of the island saga, I get drawn closer and closer to the conslusion that its mere state propaganda aimed at keeping Kenyans emotionally charged and directing all of our national stocks of venom towards our neighbours to the west. Uganda also seems to be in the know and must have been requested to "play along", how else would you explain all the drama and theatrics they are involved in- sending their brigadiers to the island and Government Spokeperson to Nairobi, Kibaki meeting with Museveni in Lusaka, etc. The only unscripted part is the one of Kenya looking like a sissy simply because someone forgot to let Kianga and Wetangula in on the secret. So we end up with State officials seeking a diplomatic solution, while Ugandans and common Kenyans are spoiling for a military fight!

This tatics have been used in the past and at different intervals we have had to deal with "manufactured crisis" like guerrillas here and there, sedition, coup plot, cabinet reshuffles, a cure for AIDS, pyramid schemes, etc which are meant to keep the citizens on tenterhooks for months on end and their gaze away from the real problems.

What company do you keep?

2009-04-11T14:47:00.003+03:00

The other weekend while having a beer with friends of a friend, one of them posed and asked what kind of role models do we expose our kids to? His view is that most parents like hanging around their "kind", which means that if you are a lawyer then all the successful adults that you expose your kids to apart from family members will be in the law and enforcement careers. The twist was that in Kenya today only a small percentage of people are engaged in formal employment or in the the type of careers that every parent wishes their children to engage in. Invariably too many Kenyans are in "jua kali" or informal businesses. To make matters worse our type of businesses lack professionalism and you will therefore find a very successful real estate player raking in millions but plying their trade from a parking lot or a cybercafe! Professionals are looked down upon and those in public service are demeaned. He went on to observe that in the olden days, civil servants were respected and it was an honour and privilege to serve the nation. Teachers were respected and emulated, doctors too. Poor kids are therefore left no choice but to emulate the "wheeler dealer" uncles they are familiar with. With this comes the oft lauded cutting of corners that Kenyan business world is associated with. The hero and heroines of Kenyan business-lore are all strugglers who cut a corner here and suplied "air" there! In such a world where every "uncle and aunty" is in business, are we not limiting the options left for career chioces to our kids. To make matters worse, TV has filled the vacuum with a very unrealistic reality of aliens and a Harry Porter-type world full of sorcery black magic.Will it be a wonder when your teenage daughter finds inspiration in Gothic culture and your son becomes a slave of hip-hop culture? As we discussed the issue, it dawned on many that a "bling" and informal culture was seeping slowly into our society. The most respected in our midst are the tie-less "bling"-ardoned businessmen who drive a flashy and pimped car, keep irregular hours and remains vague about what they really do for a living. The discussion got me thinking. How do I expose Natasha and Gregory to the right kind of people. Inspirational and not hyped types. What advice on careers do I give them? While I may not have a game plan to share now, the discussion was food for thought and I hope I will be conscious to what and who they learn from.

Seventy Four Ninety (74.90) is the price of your vigilance

2009-03-24T08:56:00.011+03:00

If you ever doubted that oil marketers operate a cartel in Kenya, then here is the evidence. After all the noise we made about the oil marketers fleecing us with unjustified mark-ups and after the Energy Regularory Commission threatened them with price control, they are now "self-regulating". A close look at all the station forefront's reveals a unified price of Kshs. 74.90 cutting across Kobil, total, Caltex, Shell, etc.

In the past it was not uncommon to find a difference of as much as six shilling in the price of unleaded super petrol between two stations marketing the same brand only 3 kilometres from each other. Most notorious were the CBD stations and those in the Hurlingham area. Thika Road, Muranga Road and Eastlands were the places where you got value for money. Not any more it seems. There is consesus now.

Did petro consumers ask for too much? Wil ERC do anything now.

Nakuru is ahead of the street lighting pack

2009-03-18T14:11:00.009+03:00

With a smooth 160 kms road to the town, Nakuru is fast becoming a favourite destination of mine. On a recent trip, I was impressed by the designs of the street lights- one has a flamingo encasing the light while the other is artistic in design. You wont see anything like this in Nairobi where the workmanship of the recent revamped traffic lights in CBD was disappointing.

Enough Of Talk- Why Mama Lucy Has My Support

2009-02-03T18:08:00.005+03:00

Images of the Molo Tragedy that will not be in the mainstream media

Since last night, many have debated on whether it was right or wrong for the first lady, Mama Lucy to direct her diatribe towards Hon. Saitoti, the Minister incharge of internal security. My take is that she has a democratic right to comment on any issue that she wishes to. Her privileged position so near the centre of the executive arm of Kenyan government also affords her an insight that many of us may not have. On the Sunday morning that NTV broadcast live from the scene of that grisly accident, I was angry at the run-of-the-mill speeches made by Hon. Saitoti, Rt. Hon. Raila Odinga, Hon. Ongeri, Hon. Beth Mugo, etc that "tunawaomba wananchi wetu.......", "nihatia ku....", "serikali yetu inajitahidi...." etc . This was the usual government-speak that you hear coming from all government officials right from the village chief all the way to the highest office. "..if funds become available....", "we urge the relevant arms of government to re-dedicate themselves...blah, blah....."! With the Molo tragedy coming so soon after the Nakumatt inferno in Nairobi, what I expected to hear was that government will implement, sack, charge, amend a law here or a bye-law there, change the way we transport inflammables, store them, etc. I also expected that the "leaders" would acknowledge the factors that caused the mad rush to scoop oil despite the underlying danger. I was hoping they would concede that poverty drove the poor villagers to their untimely and un-necessary deaths. All the "leaders" who spoke at the site have the ability to make real change in the country with specific regard to safety laws and eradicating poverty. They are not mere wananchi! They are members of both the cabinet and parliament- who can influence positive changes in this land. They are the expected to make a show at leading. Pep talk will not do. I hear that the cabinet has ignored an inter-ministerial cabinet memo on Disaster Management which was put together by a task-force comprising numerous ministries and city council. Such a policy shaping document is obviously not as lucrative or as interesting as maize, oil, telecommunciations, privatisation and IPO! While our cabinet handles the "fun" agenda, the people's interests will remain in the back burners forever while we continue to die of inaction. Who will save us?

Difficult Communications

2009-01-19T15:34:00.004+03:00

A communications peer working in the financial sector recently confided to her pal that she had had it and wanted out. The reason? Being a communications manager in a transnational financial institution, every innovation, strategy, intervention or activity she has suggested to her fellow managers has been met with unified resistance. Everybody around the management table is an pseudo-expert in communications; they each know a better way of writing, saying, connecting to their target audience better, faster, cheaper and sexier than the in-house expert!

That to me sounds like the story of every PR practitioner working in any organization outside a media, advertising/PR Agency, religious or terrorist organization! Communicating is not that easy after all-otherwise can someone explain to me all these failed organizations, gaffe-prone CEOs, politicians, scientists, etc. Who will explain to me why half the world has earned such horrible reputations? Why are so many individuals and organizations spending millions to undo negative images?

It’s a fact that the PR trade in Kenya is looked down upon. Lately a new demeaning trend has emerged where public organizations are seeking to recruit a corporate & regulatory affairs manager with a purely legal background? Legal experts are the anti-thesis of PR experts. You cannot ask a legal advisor in an organization to double up as the image and reputation advisor helping the organization navigate a myriad of stakeholders with varying needs! A lawyer’s orientation is to sue, to threaten and to use the existing law to defend the organization. Who will stand up for the profession?

My Village MP Insults His Voters

2009-01-06T09:01:00.004+03:00

During last year's Kenyatta Day holiday, my village MP decided to give every Location in his constituency a bull to slaughter. A white settler doing this for his farmhands in the 1950s would have received accolades. But this is 2008 in independent Kenya. One Location in this part of Kenya has a population of about 200,000 people. How can you live with yourself? How can you go home sleep soundly with the knowledge that you have made your subjects happy! Is a morsel of meat what these people want, nay need? Who are your advisors, mheshimiwa? Are you in touch with reality? Your constituency is only 40 kms from Nairobi, but many parts are not accessible in wet weather! You have grinding poverty, poor health facilities, kids out of school, insecurity, etc. What are your priorities?

The Year Is Gone And So Is Kenya's Innocence

2009-01-06T08:06:00.002+03:00

2008 is by far the most horrible year that the motherland has had in the recent history. We started off with the post election mayhem that cost over 1000 lives and millions in lost property and business opportunities. In the course of the year our healing was delayed by the greedy MPs, high cost of living, drought, fuel shortages, political bickering and brinkmanship that had the country drunk and directionless when resolve and leadership post-Waki and Kriegler Reports was all that we prayed for. The healing was somewhat accelerated by the best Olympic performance and our cousin Obama’s win in America. This our annus horibillis was a year during which our politics lost the veneer of respectability, our decades-old communal hatred came to the fore unhindered by pretences of civility and the collective innocence was forever lost. As we usher in the new year, the initial signs are that we have not learnt any lessons and our politicians are already engaged in sparring fights over which way to go with the new constitution, taking differing positions on the new ICT Law (media bill) and all the posturing in readiness of 2012 that is going on amid all the mwananchi problems that no one seems to care about. Thousands of IDPs are still in transitional camps waiting for their leadership to sort out their problems. It is no wonder Kofi Annan, Kenya's nanny and chaperone has had to cajole and reprimand us with his "Op-ed on Kenya" now running in all the dailies. He says that "in my view, while the progress has been remarkable, the pace of the reforms should move faster. That is because the window of opportunity for serious reform will start to close sooner than we might wish. I am already concerned that a premature focus on the 2012 elections could distract the country from the more pressing priorities-pursuing the IREC and CIPEV reforms and tackling the other long-term issues identified in Agenda Item Four of the National Dialogue. I appreciate why some have dubbed Agenda Item Four the "mwananchi agenda", as it deals with those deep-seated problems that most directly affect the lives and livelihoods of most Kenyans-whether its poverty and inequity, youth unemployment, land grievances, ethnic discord, stalled judicial and other institutional reforms, or lack of action to counter corruption. Kenyans are demanding more effective-and more expeditious-action on the "mwananchi agenda". They are eager to reap some benefit from the National Dialogue agreements. And their growing impatience is exacerbated by rising cost of living and a perception that their elected representatives-the "ruling elite"- are paying insufficient attention to their daily plight. Moving quickly to fully implement the tasks agreed in the National Dialogue talks would go a long way towards changing that perception" . I doubt if anyone is listening out there, but I am willing to be proved wrong.

Media Coverage of American Elections

2008-11-17T13:04:00.011+03:00

The Kenyan media seems to have come of age, at least going by the enthusiastic coverage that the American elections got. For the first time in a long time, a number of stations sent senior reporters and editors all over the States.

KTN had Opondo, NTV had Basset Buyukah and Joe Ageyo in Europe, CTV had Alex Chamwanda and Louis Otieno, DN had Macharia Gaitho and Warigi Gitau at some point. Kiss FM had Maina Kiai who was also doing features for NTV. We had the usual correspondents like Kevin Kelly for DN, Mulaa for EA Standard. Is this a new beginning for media houses? Yes they have been sending Sports Writers and Editors to Olympics, All Africa Games, Commonwealth games to cover our own athletes etc, but political and business stories have not been given many resources.

When the President goes abroad, he may take one or two journalists from the private media houses, but generally he is given coverage by the Presiential Press Service (PPS). There is need to think seriously about the role of independent journalists. Business understands that and KQ will not hesitate to put 50 local journalists on an inaugural flight to Istanbul or some other such destination. The Obama and Mc Cain campaigns were accompanied by loads of journalist on their official planes. The same jounalists would be moving between the campaigns at ease. Can we learn something here? Our politicians believe that you can only allow a journalist near you at your own peril.

KBC still drawing from national coffers has recently placed a tender for OB vehicles. Of course technology has changed so much that their ubiquitous two-trailer OB trucks are now outdated. KTN is running their OB from a land rover, NTV and CTV from vans. Kudos to our media.

The Obama Album

2008-11-05T13:02:00.049+03:00

The Obama Win. Kenya, Steel Thyself

2008-11-05T12:36:00.006+03:00

Improbable. Yes it’s a historic moment. For black people in America. For all people of colour across the world. Yes its a delirious moment for Kenyans. America has redeemed herself from a dark history of disenfranchised citizens and a past of slavery and gone ahead to prove to the world that democracy does work and the fabled American Dream complete with the accompanying ideals is a viable concept. Yes all things are possible. The Tears. I want to admit that I shed my share to honour this moment. The thought that a black family first family can reside in the White House with Malia and Shasha frolicking on those hallowed Pennsylvania Avenue lawns with the puppy Dad promised is such a powerful image that I just let go and allowed the tears to flow freely. Who would have thought? Many black people had wished and prayed for his win, but were not convinced that white voters could see beyond his skin colour. Rev. Jesee Jackson cried too. So did Oprah and lots of white and black folks everywhere. The Public Holiday. President Kibaki was quicker to the draw than President Bush by congratulating Senator Obama on the win before anyone else (at least according to our media houses). Along with that, he also declared 6th November a public holiday-just like I had predicted. This will allow Kenyans to celebrate our Cousin Obama’s victory. The Acceptance Speech. His speech as expected paid tribute to the historical moment ushering in a black man into the American presidency, special tribute to his opponents Mc Cain and Palin, to the enduring power of American ideals, to the American people reiterating that they “will always be the united States of American”, to Republican voters while promising that he will be “your president too”. Using his campaign clarion call he promised that “change has come to America” He also thanked his campaign team by calling David Ploufee the “unsung hero” of the campaign as well as recognising David Axelrod. He had special mention for Michelle, “his best friend for 16 years, his family rock and America’s next first lady”. Other members of his nucleus and extended family he mentioned include daughters Malia and Shasha, late grandma Madelyn, half sister Maya, step sister Auma, other brothers and sisters. He also mentioned Ann Nixon Cooper and used her 106 years as a backdrop of the landmark changes that had taken place in the American society. His win he said was “… the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day. It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.” What a statement. My unpopular prediction. Everybody wants a piece of Obama, and no country more than Kenya. I however have a very unpopular prediction that Kenyans don’t want to hear- Obama will not visit Kenya during his term(s)! Kenyans imagine that he will sort out all our problems, do all our roads, put dollars wads in our pockets and solve our relationship issues. Hell no! He is an American president and a visit to any country by an American president is a well-thought out event that is calculated to make a statement. His predecessors have given Kenya a huge miss in the past years and unless we address the reasons why Bush or Clinton preferred to visit Tanzania, Rwanda, Senegal, etc and not our “island of peace amidst a sea of chaos”, then we should forget Obama’s “homecoming”. Michelle and the girls will visit. So will the Obama groupies like Oprah, who may even do projects here and use their “star” power to boost tourism and enhance our profile, but the president will give us a huge miss. The sooner we get a grip to this reality the better. Lessons for Kenya. If we don’t take a few lessons from this election, then I don’t know if we can ever learn anything. The Kenyan public was exposed to the best democratic practices in the world. I hope as a country that we can take something going forward. What are the lesions? Fairplay, institutions vs. Personalities, violence free campaigns, issue based debates, organised campaigns, etc Lessons for youth. The campaign slogan of “Yes we can” is very powerful and to see “the skinny kid with a funny name” come from “nothing” to something, from nowhere to the most powerful office on land is a lesson that every young person with real or imagined disadvantages should take seriously. All things are possible. A "where were you moment?" Obama’s victory joins the list of defining moments in history. Every country has a list of such moments and they are best played in discussions around where an individual was at such a crucial moment. November 5th joins my list of such moments. Others during my time include, the fall of the Berlin wall, Nairobi Bomblast, 9/11, the high of 2002 NARC election results, the low of 2007 election results etc. This is the stuff that I will delight my grandchildren with. Anybody who doubts can ponder about this:- A black man in White House, a black first lady, a Catholic Vice President, a first term black Senator goes running for presidency. My Diary. Thanks to my American friend, SG and his lady LZ, George and I spent the early night of 4th November at a barbeque in Spring Valley around colleagues and friends. We watched CNN news and Americans started their voting day. We exchanged banter on the different scenarios. With a mini UN on the guest list everybody had a question for our American host. What is the basis of the electoral colleges? What are swing states? Etc. Because of dropping kids to school and work, we had to leave after 11.00 pm. I work up a few minutes to five and was glued to the TV until the president-elect made his acceptance speech a few minutes to 8.30 am. Hey, work could wait a while. This was big stuff. I had earlier promised to bring the kids along for the celebrations. Gregory got the chance to see the crowds following the elections from the big screens mounted outside KICC on his way to school. I hope that in the course of the day an appropriate celebration for kids will emerge, otherwise adult Nairobian are partying very hard tonight. I will be part of that big party somehow, sometime. Tomorrow morning I will sit my children, Gregory and Natasha down and tell them the story of the Kenyan-American “skinny boy with a funny name” and what it means for them to be all they can be. I will enjoy giving this lesson.

I Am Who I Am Now

2008-10-31T09:59:00.003+03:00

The other day I watched the movie The Weatherman in which Nicholas Cage plays David Spritz a TV weatherman who thinks that his career is not fulfilling and has problems at the home front. The moral of the movie as Dave admits to himself is that one must learn to accept and be happy with his life whatever it is. However the outcome. We all have our desired lives or outcomes of our lives based on what we imagine is ideal, further based on what our parents have implanted in our minds, based on what society has defined as success and sometimes based on imaginary yardsticks that we impose on ourselves. At some point in our lives, everybody is confronted with the reality that “we are who we are” at that point in time. I want to believe that this is the “Eureka “moment from whence we can now proceed to live in peace with who we are. Some geography-biased philosophers call this moment “finding” oneself. Others more positive say that “you have found your purpose”, the reason for your being, your rasion d’être, etc. So are you still searching or have you found the reason you are here? Do you accept the canvas of your life that the Maker has painted? Are you satisfied that it is as it should be? If not, happy searching!

My Bucket List Is Full

2008-10-29T12:12:00.003+03:00

I have taken my time to generate a wish list based on some things I want to achieve before I move on to the next world. I had a very honest “debate” with myself asking some uncomfortable questions and making unusual admissions to myself. Like the lead characters in the movies, I will strike out any item that I am able to achieve. I thank God that unlike the characters, I have no deadline. I will keep you posted on the progress.

· Impact lives of dear & near ones · Be emotional · Be my family’s best friend. · Read more · Write more · Mentor three young people · Give more · Trust more · Be happy · Be physically & mentally fit · Speak up my mind & damn the consequences · Own a motorbike · Build a retirement home in a cosmopolitan town · Bequeath my kids an education & a legacy · Start a business · Overland Cape to Cairo

Nakuru is back in the loop, once again.

2008-10-29T12:06:00.003+03:00

A week ago, I was in the Rift Valley on duty and had a most delightful two-hour drive to Nakuru town. With the Mai-Mahiu-Lanet road construction now almost over and the road virtually opened, save for some beautifying and landscaping work going on. The road is smooth and well done, complete with an interchange (flyover) to get in and out of Naivasha Town and onwards to Mai Mahiu. One interesting thing I noticed was that the contractor is planting grass and trees on the road shoulders. This is rare and I wonder why the same is not happening on other new roads. The road was done with assistance from EU. On the northern side of Nakuru town a Chinese contractor is working on the 9 kilometre Lanet to Njoro-turnoff dual carriage. I hope they will do some landscaping and replace the giant beautiful trees that lined the road in the past.

I want to imagine that local tourists from Nairobi will now be back in this region with an abundance of sights. I will be back to sample the town and the surrounding country. Southwards from Nairobi, the Mlolongo to Machakos turn-off road is under construction and has made life for users hell. In the same direction, the Athi river to Namanga Road is also under construction and when complete Arusha will be some 3 hours away from Nairobi.

JUST A MOM?

2008-10-27T17:38:00.003+03:00

This forward came to my inbox in the usual manner, but it caught my eye and on reading it, I thought it was brilliant and a morale booster for any mother struggling to find relevance in their work amidst all the glorification of the "working" woman. Enjoy.

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is, " explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a .?" "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom." "We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," Said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "What is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. "Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?" Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money." There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom." Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?" I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts " Associate Research Assistants."

Another holiday beckons if Cousin Obama wins

2008-10-27T17:20:00.002+03:00

By end of October Kenyans will be away from work for a total of 11 days. Eight of those days are our usual weekends and the other three are official holidays in the form of Idd-ul-fitr, Moi Day and Kenyatta Day. Normally, the next holiday would be Jamhuri Day in December, but if all goes well and our Cousin Barack and the Democrats get their way in America, November will not be a “dry” month in terms of holidays. It’s obvious that Kenyans have a vested interest in the American elections and though they don’t understand the dynamics and mechanics of the American democracy, they are all rooting for “our homeboy”. In fact his win is a foregone conclusion, and should he suffer a loss, then in true African fashion, we will blame it on the incumbent for using state resources to help his party or we will blame it on witchcraft, Republican’s rigging, racism, etc Should the Gods grant our collective wish, I am sure we will earn a unofficial public holiday before the first week of November is out. Being a true Kenyan, I have given it some thought and I intend to be out in the Nairobi streets celebrating “our” victory. I further intend to take my kids out with me to be witnesses in this momentous day in world history. I want them out there because in another 50 years or so, they can regale their grandchildren with their part in what is truly a fairy tale of our lifetime. I also want them to bookmark the story of Obama in their lives and use it as an example and lesson in what they too can achieve. After the excitement has died down I will sit them down and take them through a tutorial on the tagline “yes we can” . As Kenyans, we have done all we can possibly do and its now over to Americans to do their bit in getting us this well-deserved holiday!

My Bucket List- What I want to do before I go

2008-10-04T15:57:00.003+03:00

"The Bucket List" is a 2007 comedy-drama film starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The story follows two terminally ill men who meet in a hospital ward. One is a mechanic and the other a tycoon. They are suffering from cancer and have one year to live. They create a wish list of things to do before they “kick the bucket” . The story follows their road trip as they fulfill the wish list with a few lessons along the way. Their bucket list included:-

- Witness something truly majestic - Help a complete stranger for a common good - Laugh till I cry - Drive a Shelby Mustang - Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world - Get a tattoo - Skydiving - Visit Stonehenge - Spend a week at Louvre - See Rome - See the pyramids - Get back in touch (previously "Hunt the big cat")

According to www.43things.com, the most popular categories that people include in their must-do-before-I-die lists are related to health, money and wealth, school and education, work and career, family, friends and social life, spirituality and beliefs, creativity and self-expression and travel. The most popular specific goals include:-

1. lose weight 2. stop procrastinating 3. write a book 4. fall in love 5. be happy 6. get a tattoo 7. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination 8. drink more water 9. get married 10. travel the world

I have decided to put together my own bucket list at leisure. Having been very unfaithful to my annual attempts at new year resolutions, I want to take my time to meditate and determine what deserves to be in my list. Watch this space…..

..been away too long...

2008-09-11T15:09:00.001+03:00

.....seems like I am getting overwhelmed. I cannot keep to my promised minimum of two posts per months! I need to motivate myself fast......

Lucky Men...........

2008-07-08T15:57:00.006+03:00

During my daily ritual of driving home in the afternoon jam, recently a persistent lady called my number mistaking me for her hairdresser. She jumped straight into expressing her profuse gratitude for the last hairdo and sought an urgent appointment for the next one. Before I could protest the wrong number, she had jumped head-on into a tirade about how her sister and their friends are equally happy with the hairdresser’s services! My protestations that I was not her hairdresser fell on deaf ears and were mistaken for a lack of an opening in “my” diary. I apologised for not being her famed hairdresser and ended the call, but the lady was not giving up so easily. Half a minute later she had called. This time the speech was more coy and peppered with pleads of “woiees”. This time I am stern and dismiss her for wasting my time. It could be a prank and you cannot be too careful with all these gotcha pranks going on in our radio stations. She never calls back. As I ponder about the plight of the poor girl’s hair, my thoughts quickly turns to the lucky hairdresser who gives so much pleasure and satisfaction to his clients. Having ended up with a bland career, I rue my lack of legal mandate to make more than one woman happy. When I get over the envious realisation how fortunate male hairdressers are, I quickly search for any other lot of brothers allowed to pleasure more than their wives! Masseuse, gynaecologists and male strippers come to mind. How lucky. Talk about eating from the good work of one’s hands!

Kilaguni Lodge- Tsavo west.

2008-07-03T14:38:00.014+03:00

This is the place where Kofi Annan spent some time with the mediation team during that dark hour in Kenya's history at the beginning of this year. The lodge is one of the oldest in the country and is found some 30 kms from Mtito Andei junction, inside Tsavo West National Park- the 3rd biggest eco-system in the world! The park is the size of Rwanda. The lodge is named after a hill by the same name, so named by the locals in honour of a mother-baby rhino pair that made the hill their home aeons ago. All the rooms and restaurant area face a floodlit waterhole, while the majestic Chyulu Hills form the distant backdrop. This is the country of lava, shetani caves, and has been lately branded by KWS. Prominent visitors here apart from Kofi Annan include Mzee Kenyatta in 1964 and numerous royalty and business class. The lodge is now run by Serena and their high standards of service are a joy. On a recent visit, I took shots of the landscape, which have found a place of pride in my screen saver.

Is my dream country cottage gone up in smoke........

2008-05-11T15:51:00.002+03:00

I am the proud owner of a small beautiful cottage in a pristine locale surrounded by nature, laden with all your daily needs of cool clean water, sunshine, fresh fruits and traditional foods. When the world around me goes all chaotic, this is the place where I seek refuge.

This cottage might as well be located in any of the following exotic places- Takaungu, Lamu, Kwale, Mathews Ranges, Kesses, Naivasha, Taita Hills, Nanyuki, Kikambala, Vipingo, Aberdares, Happy Valley, Nyambene Hills, Chyulus, Mfangano Islands, Isinya, or a thousand other such places in any direction you take in Kenya.

I could have moved in sooner, but I especially wish to turn the cottage into my retirement home. I have therefore started planning how I will put it up in the next five years.

However, in hindsight the problems we faced in January this year have forced me to re-think the whole concept. Will I be welcome or am I going to be a “foreigner” in my own country? Will I be a pawn when the next election comes by? I cannot enjoy the country air with an “alien” tag to my name.

Unless. I get a police post built right next to it. But then, that would spoil the serenity. Unwanted and unwelcome neighbours would stress the fragile environment and hey, where is the fun if you take away the exclusivity from it?

This cottage is found in my dreams, but the view from is worth dying for.

Images from South Africa

2008-05-10T15:11:00.012+03:00

The New Job

2008-04-21T18:14:00.002+03:00

I have been on my new job for close to six months and I can now objectively assess the new experience. Initially it was a roller coaster ride-moving too fast with blurred views of the surrounding, but now I am more settled down and at ease on the job and the surroundings.

Being a new industry, it took me a few weeks to be weaned of my previous industry experience. Being in the environment sector, I am now fully attuned to the issues and politics in the sector. To be honest, I am glad I moved when I did and to the organization I did. The job description is challenging and includes setting up systems, advising management and ensuring the whole organization sings from the same hymn page.

I am part of a wonderful team that clearly understands it’s brief. In my corner, I have a team of young professional that I hope to mentor and mould into the best in my industry. My boss has given me a free hand to set up systems the best way I know how including enabling me with the appropriate resources. So far, we are receiving positive feedback from users of our services and products.
I am extremely happy with the job, the people I work with, the people I serve and the environment.

I hope to have another optimistic review of the job in another six months.

Msanzi

2008-04-17T16:44:00.009+03:00

I have just returned from a week in South Africa. I visited (some for hours) the following cities:- Johannesburg, Durban, Pretoria and Pietermaritzburg. A few observations:-

Electricity:
The country is in darkness and everybody blames it on poor Mbeki. The utility provider, ESKOM, had warned the government some 8 years ago about the need for expanding power plants to accommodate rising demand. It is quite embarrassing for a country waiting to host the World Cup in less than 2 years. Sitting in a dark candle-lit house in Johannesburg reminded me of Kenya so much. Deja vu, you could say, but for South Africans it’s all curses and discomfort. They don’t know how to handle it all. On the road, they depend on traffic lights for order and without them; they are so hopelessly lost you have to pity them! Is this mighty economic powerhouse slowly going the "African" way?

Crime:
At every point, you are reminded how insecure the city streets are. You are advised not to walk the streets alone or with your accessories like handbags, cameras, gold chains, wallets, etc in full view of the world. The newspapers are full of scary rape, murder, burglary cases. During my stay, there was a story of an attack on the Greek Ambassador's residence in Pretoria and the trauma that his family went through. If such happened in Nairobi, there would be hue and cry with travel advisories flying all over the place. Personally, I did not see any crime and I have nothing but kind words to all the good South African people I interacted with.

National Cohesion/Racism/Tribalism:
There are serious issues touching on national cohesion. Reading the newspapers and talking to the local black population, you get a sense of unresolved issues. A drive through any of the main cities residential areas is a lesson in economic disparities. Whites live in secluded estates, while Indians (at least in the case of Durban) and the few upwardly mobile blacks are moving in the numerous flats that whites are deserting for the suburbs. The notorious Hillbrow and Soweto hoods in Johannesburg are not exactly the slums that we know in Kenya-they would pass for your average middle-class estates like South B or Buru Buru. Much as South Africa has a feel of a developed country, it’s hard to hide the fact there are two different nations in one. The Zulus of Kwazulu Natal Province are very nationalistic-they assume that every black person is Zulu and that is the language they use to talk to everybody.

Coming from Kenya where we have all agreed to deny the existence of tribalism or class division, I was heartened that South Africans are talking loudly about racism, emerging class divisions and other forms of discrimination. A healthy debate is a starting point to heal especially if done away from the political class’ reach.

Politics:
The Zuma-Mbeki struggle for ANC is interesting when explained by locals. What we outsiders don’t know is that Zuma was voted into the ANC presidency, not because he is loved, but as a protest against the “posh” brand of Mbeki politics. Many locals have nothing but disrespect for Zuma-he is a corrupt uneducated polygamist who leads a not-so-private reckless sex life. That is not your everyday Head of State material, but South Africans can’t stand the current ANC leadership, especially in view of the lopsided representation of Xhosa in big business and cabinet.

A recent newspaper report on rich Africans placed a black South African lawyer as the number one or two in Africa. On close scrutiny however, you learn that this one follows the usual “African” script that liberally mixes politics, business and being in the right place at the right time. The story on the street is that he is a relative of Cyril Ramaphosa through marriage as well as Mbeki. The locals claim that he is a front for the ruling Xhosa clan. They wonder how a lawyer with no experience in mining can suddenly become an expert scouting for mining deals all over the world.

Cars:
Due to the superb infrastructure, you rarely see a dirty or "tired "vehicle on these roads. Of course they manufacture most of the cars on their roads. The bakkies (pick-ups) are popular and a favourite of car jackers. The whites love adventure vehicles, while the newly rich blacks want the loudest flashiest ride on the market. The speed limit is 120 km/h on open highways, but during my stay, a brother was reportedly arrested for over speeding and hitting 207km/h. The newspapers said this was high, but not as high as some other guy who was arrested for hitting 287 km/h last year!

While in Durban, I saw these numerous Mitumba showrooms packed with second-hand Japanese imports. The interesting thing is that all these vehicles are destined to the neighbouring countries, but from Durban to the borders, they cannot drive or get in any contact with South African roads. They have to be atop vehicle carriers all the way to the exit points. This is the Freeport scenario that Kenya is supposed to exploit in view of our hinterland of South Sudan, Uganda, Southern Ethiopia, Rwanda, Burundi, Eastern Congo, etc. I now hear that Rwanda wants to turn the whole country into a Freeport.

Foreigners in El Dorado:
Local people believe that at least 10 million foreigners have settled in South Africa. Top on the list are 3 million Zimbos (Zimbambweans) running away from the runaway inflation up north. There are legal and illegal immigrants from as far away as Kenya, Tanzania and Congo amidst those from the hood- Lesotho, Swaziland, Zambia, Botswana, Namibia, Malawi, etc. In one shopping mall, all the 600 parking attendants are from Congo. When you talk to South Africans, they don’t seem so happy about the foreigners, but also seem to accept the fact that they owe historical debts to many African states that stood by them in the Apartheid days. Talking to the immigrants, you hear occasional derision of the local male, who is allergic to hard work and leaves their women to wear the breadwinner label.

I would love to be back here sometime and see the country by road. Soon.

New Tricks

2008-03-12T18:16:00.003+03:00

The country is slowly getting back to normalcy. You can almost feel the celebratory mood in the air when you are around social places. Everyone seems to be making extra effort to prove their Kenyan-ness and if in cosmopolitan company, there are some who are going the extra mile to prove this by dangling their mixed heritage or non-ethnic credentials.

The winner in this struggle by old dogs learning new tricks was a wisecrack from a lady colleague after the CEO requested for opening prayers during a formal meeting in the office. She quipped, "should'nt we be starting our meetings with a hearty national anthem instead of prayers?".

She got me thinking. Why not, especially after the fiasco that our religious leaders created by taking sides when they were supposed to keep off the murk that politics can be. At least the anthem would be neutral, secular and apolitical.

Come to think of it, why not?

How Kenyan are You ? The Big Test

2008-02-08T17:00:00.000+03:00

At this very difficult time for our dear nation, it is rare to find alot of Kenyans who can crystallize issues without seeming to take sides. It is becoming difficult to find "voices of reason" that can talk about the real issues facing us without elections and all the emotions therein blurring the picture. Once again Eric Kimani-my favourite homegrown motivational speaker and business leader- has hit the nail on the head. In a speech he delivered in December 2007, titled "Proudly Kenyan", he discussed some real issues that face our country. Had this been made this year, it would have sounded pedestrian, but looking back now,I will shamelessly use the word prophetic to describe this insightful piece. Karibu. PROUDLY KENYAN! A talk by Eric Kimani to the Final 2007 Nairobi Marketers Night on 7th December 2007 Distinguished guests, ladies & gentlemen, Thank you for inviting me to come and speak at the Marketers Night Out dinner. Your publication “Marketing Africa” is known for its high standards and it is an honor for me to be here tonight. I am told that all good speeches begin with a light moment and I will keep to this tradition and tell you a true story…about Mr. Smith, Kamau and Mr. Patel! The choice of a topic for you was complicated by the diverse nature of your audience-some are pure marketers, some are sales people some are in advertising while some are in pure branding. I believe everyone though is a marketer of some sort. The one thing you have in common that made me choose a topic is your influence on society. I don’t think there is any other professional group that influences the social economic and political fabric of our society more than you marketers. You even shape public opinion. I am known for my talking about the soft issues in life rather than technical one and I have today chosen to talk to you on being Proudly Kenyan. The first time I moved out of the confines of my constituency to experience the greater Kenya was when I joined form 5 in Meru School in 1977. There I met people from all over Kenya. My best friend was Omondi Oloo. We talked and shared our common aspirations as young Kenyans. As we approached the end of 1978 amid calls of “The cock is too old” our then president Mzee Jomo Kenyatta passed away. There was unease, fear and anxiety. Many said Kenya would disintegrate into civil war! This quickly passed away. The immediate past president Moi took Power and ruled for 24 years. An attempted but failed coup in 1982 almost interrupted Moi’s rule spreading further fear among all and sundry. At every election time during Moi’s 24-year rule, there was unease, anxiety and fear. It reached its height in 1992 with the politically instigated tribal clashes appearing in the Rift Valley and the Coast. Again many predicted this was the beginning of the end and Kenya stood at the brink of civil war! In 2002 as we approached another change of guard, there was fear and unease again and amid calls “Moi must go and Kibaki Tosha” president Moi gave way to HE Mwai Kibaki. In my humble view, this is the first time during elections in the history of independent Kenya that I sense that the unease, anxiety and fear level is lower than it has ever been which in a sense is political maturity. But before I digress too much into politics let me come back to the point I wanted to make. After school I began work. I worked under the late Mohamed Akram Bhatti, an Asian of Pakistan origin who was the then chairman of the Young Muslim Association. When I decided to get married in 1983, he among others wearing the customary uniform suits and standing nearly seven foot tall, was one of the groomsmen in my wedding- himself a Muslim leader. My parents are deeply religious and anchored on Christianity. Akram’s family, which was deeply Islamic severally visited the village and enjoyed our company. Indeed we started a partnership to rear chicken with him and my father but the venture failed! What am I driving at? I am driving at the point that Omondi Oloo, Akram Bhatti and Eric Kimani were, besides being Luo, Pakistani and Kikuyu proudly Kenyan! Our diversity was our strength. It gave us color! Why has it become so pronounced that we are of this and that tribe and not Kenyan? How deep is your love for Kenya? Are you proud to be Kenyan? What do I want to tell you tonight? I want to tell you to be proudly Kenyan; I want to remind you that you have no choice; I want to remind you that Kenya is all there is for us all; I want to remind us that being Proudly Kenyan must begin by marketing this agenda in our minds! I would like to begin by describing why in my view we have failed the test of being Proudly Kenyan. 1. Tribalism- We wrongfully accept that our tribal differences is our greatest weakness. In my view this should be a strength and not a weakness as I will allude to later. Some of our politicians and outsiders have made this worse by using it for their own selfish ends. As I speak there is heightened tribal animosity in some places where it was planted in 1992! Ethnic and tribal discrimination and identification is based on perceived insecurity. Indeed, I accept an argument by Pastor Oginde who recently argued that were it not for our strong religious grounding, tribalism would by now have torn Kenya apart! Kenyans have exercised restraint in the face of great provocation as history has shown. My prayer tonight is that we will continue to exercise this restraint while at the same time building a national identity that is truly Kenyan! When is the last time you got out of your way to help one who is not from your own tribe? This weekend we had the mentoring session for about 100 Palmhouse Secondary school kids- It was so fulfilling for me to see the Muslim girls and boys spread out their mats on the open grass to pray! It was exciting to see Terry Davidson and his wife among others spend time mentoring Kenyan kids; it was exciting to see Michael Owuor from Nyanza mentoring Josephine Kamene from Kitui; while Jane was mentoring Fatuma! Serving your own does not bring the Kenyan message home- even thieves watch over their own. You must begin where you are- invite the diversity on your board of directors on your management team. How you behave speaks louder than what you say 2. We are not patriotic enough to be proudly Kenyan. We have agreed to be influenced by some outsiders and selfish leaders to hate our own country. Who can hate his/her own mother? Have you observed the patriotism of Americans, Japanese, British, Indians, Chinese, and French etc? It always amazes me when I visit America- Many Americans will tell you what a great country America is: how lucky they are; how blessed they are and then proceed to give you their political opinion which may be as harsh as any. Ask a Kenyan his view of our country and he/she will start mourning the troubles of Kenya and the government. Recently a well educated Kenyan lady came seeking my assistance to go to America. She began telling me how life in Kenya is hell! How there is no hope in this country. How she must get herself and her family to America. I go America relatively quite often in the last few years. I have two sisters and other relatives. While admittedly life in the short run is better in the US, nothing in my view beats Kenya. If those in America were to tell you frankly, many would love to come back home if there were opportunities! Why do we speak so ill of our country? President George W. Bush this year issued an official proclamation of May 1st 2007 as Loyalty Day- This is a now a legal holiday (not federal) in the US whose purpose is quote “a day for the affirmation of loyalty to the United States and for the recognition of the heritage of American Freedom” end of quote. We are not short of examples to follow. 3. We have failed the proudly Kenyan test because we are unable to separate Kenya from the political leadership. Kenya is not made up of politicians. The president is not Kenya. Parliament is not Kenya. Kenya is bigger than the sum total of all! I like the way for example Americans and Canadians are proud of being such- in many American homes they fly their flag; the Canadians wear lapel pins of their flag. If you did it in Kenya people might mistake you for a member of KANU. We must change this. We must treat our flag with pride and no political party should be allowed our national colors! 4. We have failed the Proudly Kenyan test because of a deeply colonized mind- I once observed the behavior of a particular African head of state at a dinner function. When a person of any other shade except black went to whisper/exchange niceties he would straighten up and put on a wide smile. When an African approached him his demeanor would completely change to one of “what do you want”? We are our worst enemies! We still do not believe enough in ourselves; we still largely think we do not measure up! 5. We have failed the proudly Kenyan test because of a poor work ethic-I am finally persuaded to agree with a theory that perhaps due to long and undue colonization, we Africans came to believe that work is to be avoided. I once received a call from London in the early nineties from an investor in a tea plantation who left Kenya in the late sixties. He could not understand that workers had gone on strike and his question was why we could not get the DC to whip the natives back to work! In Africa unlike in the west and the east work is not treated as godly or duty or something that must be done. Indeed if you can get paid to do the least, you consider yourself as doing well! This must change if we are to get anywhere! Work is no longer punishment! We must treat work as a duty and a godly thing to do to be proudly Kenyan. 6. We have often failed the Proudly Kenyan test because we believe and think small of ourselves- As a family we own and run a micro-dairy processing plant where we have packaged milk for over a decade. It never ceases to amaze me that often when we tell people we sell milk to Serena hotel or Nairobi Hospital among others, their first reaction is “do you supply raw milk in big containers”! We think small! 7. We have failed the Proudly Kenyan test because of what I refer to as a PHD mentality- A “Pull Him Down”! We seem to pursue a line of thinking in a scarcity paradigm that if we are all doing badly it is okay but it is not okay that some do so well and better than us! I once had an employee walk into my office and argue that we should not give a pay rise to another employee on promotion because he would get better paid than him and he considered himself senior but grossly underpaid. I agreed that he is underpaid but pulling his colleague down was scarcity approach. He should have supported his pay rise and use it to argue for an even bigger pay rise himself instead of wearing a PHD hat! What must we do to get better at being Proudly Kenyan? 1. We must lead the way and begin by marketing Kenya in our own minds. We must begin to walk the talk and talk positively of Kenya. I have resolved never to take part in a conversation to demean my country. We must stop confusing Kenya with some of our poor leaders. Very often some foreigners will start a conversation on how corrupt Kenya is! I refuse to accept this line of argument. Kenya is not corrupt but a very small number in leadership often working in cohort with foreigners are corrupt! Being Proudly Kenyan calls for us to live it and show it! I once sent an exchange student back to America before his time for among other things his stand on Kenya- he persistently talked ill of the country and our leaders! 2. Being Proudly Kenyan calls on us to begin to take responsibility. You must begin to be the one who gives way in traffic; the one who refuses to cut others in traffic: the one who refuses to drive on the pavement and break the kerb. Do you know that in the USA and other western cities for example, there are no lights or policemen to control inter-sections and motorists just control themselves? Common courtesy is lacking for us to be proudly Kenyan. Stop talking and shifting blame on government- you are the government. Do something! Half of the traffic jams in Nairobi are caused by lack of common courtesy- let us resolve to lead the way. 3. Being proudly Kenya calls for Buy Kenyan Build Kenya- Buy Tusker, Yana etc. attend local theatre; attend local restaurants; retain local talent; get services like medical, etc from Kenyans! Stories are told of people who bought suits made in Kenya from some western cities for three times the price on Biashara Street in Nairobi! The Export Processing Zone at Sameer is one of the largest manufacturing facility for jeans for one of America’s largest clothing company but I wonder how many would buy them in Nairobi and feel proudly Kenyan? I have an America friend who is so proudly American that he persistently asks if I could supply him with Goodyear tyres! 4. To be proudly Kenyan calls for us to support the less endowed in our society. A society with too large a group that is poor is difficult to cohere together. Those of us who have must attempt to bring up those who don’t. It is amazing how poor we are at giving which in my view leads us to fail to appreciate the bigger picture in life. I have travelled to many cities in the West particularly the USA, and it amazed me that the local hospitals, the local theatre, the school, and other utilities in many towns in the USA and much of Europe were largely built by the donations of those who are more endowed in those societies. What legacy do we see of our Kenyan rich and able? How many would build a facility like the Jaffrey club and give it to the public to use like Mr. Merali has done? To be proudly Kenyan we must begin to support our own causes. 5. Being Proudly Kenyan calls for us to have more Kenyan innovators and entrepreneurs. These will be the true and sustainable drivers of a proudly Kenyan economy. We need to empower our people- I give the example of Palmhouse Dairies our decade old micro-dairy processing again. When we set up we began to give farmers feeds and extension services on credit. We then stopped to allow budding small entrepreneurs to do it- We now have 5 suppliers from whom they can pick feeds and other necessities and we deduct from their milk deliveries at the end of the month. When the government extension services collapsed we bought containers for semen, employed inseminators and clinical officers. We have in the 10 years employed and fired 5 clinical cum insemination officers but the interesting phenomena is that none has left the vicinity of our dairy- they are private practitioners serving our farmers and beyond- we no longer need to offer such services ourselves! Being proudly Kenyan calls for creating more Kenyan entrepreneurs! Where can we begin the journey to being more proudly Kenyan? I suggest we make little step that will soon lead to giant strides; 1. I suggest we go back to our National Anthem and rekindle what it sought to achieve. I was reading through some material and I learnt that the commission that was set to create the Kenyan National Anthem had as its object, quote “…to express the deepest convictions and the highest aspirations of the people of Kenya as a whole. Words have immense power to unite and divide, and great care had to be taken to choose the right words to ensure that the anthem would become an indisputable unifying factor in the life of the nation”. Unquote. I suggest we start here- for both the young and the old. I suggest the National anthem be re-introduced as a daily routine in all primary and high schools. Employers may also be encouraged to sing/use it. I am told in Japan, companies developed their own anthems to build loyalty. I have attended many informal functions in the US and the loyalty pledge is almost a must do at every occasion. 2. I suggest that we affirm Kenya at every opportunity- I meet many successful business men who are always mourning how bad Kenya is yet they continue doing business and flourishing; they spread fear and anxiety. When people ask me about Kenya I tell them it is a great Country: that I could never trade Kenya for any other country. Those who have taken my word and visited prove that for themselves and often return or recommend to others! 3. We must stop telling discriminatory jokes and myths about each other- that Luos don’t circumcise; that Kikuyu are thieves; that Kambas are sexy… etc! Next time you want to do it- stop yourself and think Kenyan! Slowly it will die. In some western countries it has been outlawed to tell discriminatory jokes because it fuels sectionalism. 4. We must begin to stand up for Kenya. Kenya is bigger than any single tribe or leader. We must begin to teach our children to respect and love our country. We must stop the negative attitude about our beautiful country. Our diversity must become our strength. When it comes to Kenya, let us hang our tribal and religious labels and be Proudly Kenyan. When we are out and inside Kenya let us sell Kenya as a great brand. Great brands posses’ great attributes. Such great attributes must be communicated positively, both verbally and by our actions/behaviour. Will you join me and many others on this journey of making us proudly Kenyan? May I ask you to kindly stand up and re-affirm with me that we will be proudly Kenyan by singing the National Anthem that is before us… O God of all creation, Bless this our land and nation. Justice be our shield and defender, May we dwell in unity, Peace and liberty. Plenty be found within our borders. Let one and all arise With hearts both strong and true. Service be our earnest endeavour, And our Homeland of Kenya, Heritage of splendour, Firm may we stand to defend. Let all with one accord In common bond united, Build this our nation together, And the glory of Kenya, The fruit of our labour Fill every heart with thanksgiving. Tonight I challenge us all to start the small steps towards being Proudly Kenyan. Thank you and God bless you.

My Elections Diary

2008-01-16T13:03:00.000+03:00

Run-up.I have only voted twice in national elections before this year. Once in 1997 and again in 2002. Though I qualified to vote in 1992, I was out of the country. More recently, I missed the referendum vote due to negligence on my part (I forgot to remove my voter’s card from the office)! In the run up to the 2007 elections, I was taking no chances. Over one year ago, I transferred my voting station in an effort to lend a helping hand to two friends running for civic and parliamentary offices in my current home constituency. I made two attempts to confirm the updated status via text messages, but both times, I got negative feedback. ECK could only update these movements in November. So three days to the election, I try the text confirmation and I am still a voter in my old station! I am in panic, since all offices are closed. More panic, when I recall all the friendly antagonism I have generated in my circle of friends with my unbridled and passionate support for my preferred presidential candidate. What will I say to them if I fail to vote? What excuse, will I give after the referendum fiasco, a painful day that I wish to erase from my memory forever! With such a backdrop to my voting history, and in view of how important this elections are, its understandable to say that I went to bed on 26th night with only one choice open to me the next day- to vote by any means necessary Election Day.I woke up early and a few minutes before six I was driving to my voting stations about 3 kilometres away. What surprises me is how heavy vehicular and pedestrian traffic is at this early hour. Seems like the civic education worked. At the voting station, I was pleasantly surprised by the lengthy queues a few minutes after six. I joined the one I perceived shortest, but after an hour of very orderly queuing, we are informed that we need to follow some alphabetical order. I find myself at the furthest point from my rightful queue. There is grumbling and a few heated exchanges majorly directed towards the ECK presiding officers (POs), but after half an hour we are in the right queues and waiting our turn to vote. Of course the actual voting starts at least 90 minutes late. When my turn comes, I am exited, but alas, I am not on the voters roll! The PO recommends I check the queues with initials of my other names. I patiently wait for two other chances to check. By this time there are tens of other potential voters facing a similar dilemma. We eventually congregate at the PO’s office to scrutinise the Deletion list for double registered voters. Some are on the list and submit themselves to the mercy and discretion of the PO. He advices them to produce their second cards and forfeit one. Others are advised to go vote at their original stations. Since I am not on that list, I try two master lists which contain voters listed by ID number and another one listed by Voters Card Number. I am not on either. I get desperate. The PO informs me that though I have a voter’s card for the station, there is no way I will vote without appearing on the register! I am devastated. It is now about 1.00 pm. I take a break at a nearby shopping centre to contemplate my fate. Most of my friends have voted and my phone rings incessantly as they remind me of that fact. I watch happy Kenyans walking away with a gait of accomplishment and this adds to my misery. I rue the day my altruistic side drove me to transfer my vote! I also declared ECK an incompetent lot for not effecting a simple transfer. Rather than blame the world, I decide to go back and try talking to the PO once again. I link up with a friend of mine who suffers the same fate. The crowds have eased considerably and the PO is now able to talk to us. He scrutinises our cards and discusses with his officers. They request we hang around until all the voting is finished. I bet they want to ensure that we don’t vote here and dash to another station. So when the last voters are almost done, we are allowed in and our names are put down in the “black book”. We are then “lectured” on the virtues of ensuring our papers are in order well in advance and though technically we are valid voters, it is only the POs good heart and humane approach to the law that sees us voting. After profusely thanking the PO, my friend and I vote with permanent smiles on our faces and glee in our hearts! It’s now 5.00 pm and we can join the droves of other Kenyans in drinking dens all over town as we await the results. What a day. Results receiving party. Back in 2002, along with a few friends, I spent the two days after elections under a tree receiving the tumultuous results through the Citizen Radio. A few days to elections, I decided, we could have a small party to receive results a la 2002. So, I invited about a dozen of my friends, from a cross-section of political persuasions, to my house. George would provide bitings, while my guests would bring their beverage of choice. Since many families were not travelling, I end up with quite a number of guests and their families. We have a jovial day as we receive the election results. As happened in 2002, ECK are slow in releasing results and the media gladly fills this vacuum to the delight of a news-hungry Kenya. Unlike 2002 when Citizen Radio took the lead, KTN and NTV are the most reliable stations for the latest news. They have also invested heavily and prepared for this exercise- both have correspondents and reporters all over the country and especially in the hotspots. They are able to get in live feeds from the field. Once or twice, we are able to see micro satellite- dishes behind Rita Tinina as she reports “live” from Mombasa. This can only be good for the media. The kids are all over, the mothers are in the lawn while the men are in my study room, fitted with a TV, the day’s papers and a radio. The mood is jovial, the conversations centre on how much our democratic credentials have grown. Although we belong to assorted political persuasions, we respect each other’s democratic right to support whoever they wish. Half of the guests are also of mixed community marriages. Our kids fondly refer to each other as “Nairobi cousins”. We are a small cosmopolitan Kenya. Exactly as I envision my Kenya. Anyway, back to the results, we sense something is amiss in the manner that the results are trickling in, after all in 2002 on the night of elections, at least 40% of the results were in and by end of the second day, we had a pretty good picture of the overall results. But here we were on the second day with less than 30% results declared. The one million margin in the presidential vote notwithstanding, the news of the day is the resolve with which cabinet ministers have been shown the door - at least by early afternoon we are counting over 16. There is also a high turnover of MPs across the political divide. It seems to me that there was a genuine desire for change. After the last of my guests have left well past midnight, I continue watching the TV and exchanging views with a few friends on phone………then Kimunya and Uhuru appear on TV assuring their supporters of a victory when they wake up “tomorrow”! I go to bed anxious and apprehensive. Something is afoot… The next morning and all day is the most agonisingly long day in the collective life of our country. There is drama on TV all day and I can’t help imagining what would happen if there is an electric blackout? I believe Shailja Patel, a poet is better placed to take up the rest of my, and I believe millions of other Kenyan’s story. She has put words to all the mixed emotions that dominated the best part of the first week of 2008…….. (This letter made the runs in the internet and also made it to the mainstream media.) AN OPEN LETTER TO SAMUEL KIVUITU, CHAIR OF THE ELECTORAL COMMISSION OF KENYA Mr.Kivuitu,We've never met. It's unlikely we ever will. But, like every other Kenyan, I will remember you for the rest of my life. The nausea I feel at the mention of your name may recede. The bitterness and grief will not You had a mandate, Mr. Kivuitu. To deliver a free, fair and transparent election to the people of Kenya . You and your commission had 5 years to prepare. You had a tremendous pool of resources, skills, technical support, to draw on, including the experience and advice of your peers in the field - leaders and experts in governance, human rights, electoral process and constitutional law. You had the trust of 37 million Kenyans. We believed it was going to happen. On December 27th, a record 65% of registered Kenyan voters rose as early as 4am to vote. Stood in lines for up to 10 hours, in the sun, without food, drink, toilet facilities.As the results came in, we cheered when minister after powerful minister lost their parliamentary seats. When the voters of Rift Valley categorically rejected the three sons of Daniel Arap Moi, the despot who looted Kenya for 24 years. The country spoke through the ballot, en masse, against the mindblowing greed, corruption, human rights abuses, callous dismissal of Kenya's poor, that have characterised the Kibaki administration. But Kibaki wasn't going to go. When it became clear that you were announcing vote tallies that differed from those counted and confirmed in the constituencies, there was a sudden power blackout at the Kenyatta International Conference Centre, where the returns were being announced. Hundreds of GSU (General Service Unit) paramilitaries suddenly marched in. Ejected all media except the government mouthpiece Kenya Broadcasting Corporation. Fifteen minutes later, we watched, dumbfounded, as you declared Kibaki the winner. 30 minutes later, we watched in sickened disbelief and outrage, as you handed the announcement to Kibaki on the lawns of State House. Where the Chief Justice, strangely enough, had already arrived. Was waiting, fully robed, to hurriedly swear him in. You betrayed us. Perhaps we'll never know when, or why, you made that decision. One rumor claims you were threatened with the execution of your entire family if you did not name Kibaki as presidential victor. When I heard it, I hoped it was true. Because at least then I could understand why you chose instead to plunge our country into civil war. I don't believe that rumor any more. Not since you appeared on TV, looking tormented, sounding confused, contradicting yourself. Saying, among other things, that you did not resign because you "did not wantthe country to call me a coward", but you "cannot state with certainty that Kibaki won the election". Following that with the baffling statement "there are those around him [Kibaki] who should never havebeen born." The camera operator had a sense of irony - the camera shifted several times to the scroll on your wall that read: "Help Me, Jesus." As the Kenya Chapter of the International Commission of Jurists rescinds the Jurist of the Year award they bestowed on you, as the Law Society of Kenya strikes you from their Roll of Honour and disbars you, I wonder what goes through your mind these days. Do you think of the 300,000 Kenyans displaced from their homes, their lives? Of the thousands still trapped in police stations, churches, any refuge they can find, across the country? Without food, water, toilets, blankets? Of fields ready for harvest, razed to the ground? Of granaries filled with rotting grain, because no one can get to them? Of the Nairobi slum residents of Kibera, Mathare, Huruma, Dandora, ringed by GSU and police, denied exit, or access to medical treatment and emergency relief, for the crime of being poor in Kenya ? I bet you haven't made it to Jamhuri Park yet. But I'm sure you saw the news pictures of poor Americans, packed like battery chickens into their stadiums, when Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana . Imagine that here in Nairobi , Mr. Kivuitu. 75,000 Kenyans, crammed into a giant makeshift refugee camp. Our own Hurricane Kivuitu-Kibaki, driven by fire, rather than floods. By organized militia rather than crumbling levees. But the same root cause - the deep, colossal contempt of a tiny ruling class for the rest of humanity. Over 60% of our internal refugees are children. The human collateral damage of your decision. And now, imagine grief, Mr. Kivuitu. Grief so fierce, so deep, it shreds the muscle fibres of your heart. Violation so terrible, it grinds down the very organs of your body, forces the remnants through your kidneys, for you to piss out in red water. Multiply that feeling by every Kenyan who has watched a loved one slashed to death in the past week. Every parent whose child lies, killed by police bullets, in the mortuaries of Nairobi, Kisumu, Eldoret. Everyone who has run sobbing from a burning home or church, hearing the screams of those left behind. Every woman, girl, gang-raped. Do you sleep well these days, Mr. Kivuitu? I don't. I have nightmares. I wake with my heart pounding, slow tears trickling from the corners of my eyes, random phrases running through my head: Remember how we felt in 2002 ? It's all gone. (Muthoni Wanyeki, ED of Kenya Human Rights Commission, on the night of December 30th, 2007, after Kibaki was illegally sworn in as president). There is a crime here that goes beyond recrimination. There is a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolise. (John Steinbeck, American writer, on the betrayal of internally displaced Americans, in The Grapes of Wrath) Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi.... kila siku tuwe na shukrani Justice be our shield and defender.... every day filled with thanksgiving" Lines from Kenya's national anthem I soothe myself back to patchy sleep with my mantra in these terrible days, as our country burns and disintegrates around us:

Courage. Courage comes. Courage comes from cultivating. Courage comes from cultivating the habit. Courage comes from cultivating the habit of refusing. Courage comes from cultivating the habit of refusing to let fear dictate one's actions. (Aung San Suu Kyi, Burmese Nobel Peace Prize winner). I wake with a sense of unbearable sadness. Please let it not be true..... Meanwhile, the man you named President cowers in the State House, surrounded by a cabal of hardline power brokers, and a bevy of sycophantic unseated Ministers and MPs, who jostle for position and succession. Who fuel the fires by any means they can, to keep themselves important, powerful, necessary. The smoke continues to rise from the torched swathes of Rift Valley, the gutted city of Kisumu, the slums of Nairobi and Mombasa. The Red Cross warns of an imminent cholera epidemic in Nyanza and Western Kenya , deprived for days now of electricity and water. Containers pile up at the Port of Mombasa, as ships, unable to unload cargo, leave still loaded. Uganda, Rwanda , Burundi, Southern Sudan, the DRC, all dependent on Kenyan transit for fuel and vital supplies, grind to a halt. A repressive regime rolls out its panoply of oppression against legitimate dissent. Who knew our police force had so many sleek, muscled, excellently- trained horses, to mow down protestors? Who guessed that in a city of perennial water shortages, we had high-powered water cannons to terrorize Kenyans off the streets? I am among the most fortunate of the fortunate. Not only am I still whole, alive, healthy, mobile; not only do I have food, shelter, transport, the safety of those I love; I have the gift of work. I have the privilege to be in the company of the most brilliant, principled, brave, resilient Kenyans of my generation. To contribute whatever I can as we organize, strategize, mobilize, draw on everything we know and can do, to save our country. I marvel at the sheer collective volume of trained intelligence, of skill, expertise, experience, in our meetings. At the ability to rise above personal tragedy - families still hostage in war zones, friends killed, homes overflowing with displaced relatives - to focus on the larger picture and envisage a solution. I listen to lawyers, economists, youth activists, humanitarians; experts on conflict, human rights, governance, disaster relief; to Kenyans across every sector and ethnicity, and I think: Is this what we have trained all our lives for? To confront this epic catastrophe, caused by a group of old men who have already sucked everything they possibly can out of Kenya , yet will cling until they die to their absolute power? You know these people too, Mr. Kivuitu. The principled, brave, resilient, brilliant Kenyans. The idealists who took seriously the words we sang as schoolchildren, about building the nation. Some of them worked closely with you, right through the election. Some called you friend. You don't even have the excuse that Kibaki, or his henchmen, might offer - that of inhabiting a world so removed from ours that they cannot fathom the reality of ordinary Kenyans. You know of the decades of struggle, bloodshed, faith and suffering that went into creating this fragile beautiful thing we called the "democratic space in Kenya." So you can imagine the ways in which we engage with the unimaginable. We coin new similes: lie low like a 16A (the electoral tally form returned by each constituency, many of which were altered or missing in the final count) We joke about the Kivuitu effect - which turns internationalists, pan-Africanists, fervent advocates for the dissolution of borders, into nationalists who cry at the first verse of the national anthem . Ee Mungu nguvu yetu Ilete baraka kwetu Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi Natukae na undugu Amani na uhuru Raha tupate na ustawi. O God of all creation Bless this our land and nation Justice be our shield and defender May we dwell in unity Peace and liberty Plenty be found within our borders. Rarely do we allow ourselves pauses, to absorb the enormity of our country shattered, in 7 days. We cry, I think, in private. At least I do. In public, we mourn through irony, persistent humor, and action. Through the exercise of patience, stamina, fortitude, generosity, that humble me to witness. Through the fierce relentless focus of our best energies towards challenges of stomach-churning magnitude. We tell the stories that aren't making it into the press: the retired general in Rift Valley sheltering 200 displaced families on his farm, the Muslim Medical Professionals offering free treatment to anyone injured in political protest. We challenge, over and over again, with increasing weariness, the international media coverage that presents this as "tribal warfare", "ethnic conflict", for an audience that visualises Africa through Hollywood: Hotel Rwanda, The Last King of Scotland, Blood Diamond. I wish you'd thought of those people, when you made the choice to betray them. I wish you'd drawn on their courage, their integrity, their clarity, when your own failed you. I wish you'd had the imagination to enter into the lives, the dreams, of 37 million Kenyans. But, as you've probably guessed by now, Mr. Kivuitu, this isn't really a letter to you at all. This is an attempt to put words to what cannot be expressed in words. To mourn what is too immense to mourn. A clumsy groping for something beyond the word 'heartbreak' . A futile attempt to communicate what can only be lived, moment by moment. This is a howl of anguish and rage. This is a love letter to a nation. This is a long low keening for my country. Shailja Patel KENYANS FOR PEACE, TRUTH AND JUSTICE STATEMENT FROM KENYAN CITIZENS, GOVERNANCE, HUMAN RIGHTS, AND LEGAL ORGANIZATIONS

A country on the brink of tearing apart

2008-01-03T13:58:00.000+03:00

Kenya is hurting. Sections of our great nation are aggrieved, while other sections are hanging collective heads in shame. The cohesiveness of our country has been tested. We are a hurting nation. Professional incompetence and negligence on the part of ECK has taken a heavy toll on the emotions of a nation. The emptiness and uncertainty created a vacuum which exposed how short we are of leaders. One lone GSU officer was caught on TV successfully pleading with a group of youths to keep off the streets and allow ECK to do their work. Our rulers went quiet when the country needed them most. It was heartening to see a few civilians and retires like Gen. Sumbweyo, Bethwell Kiplagat, etc come out and appeal for peace on TV. That was a mark of bravery and direction in the face of doubtful outcomes. These are private citizens who took it upon themselves to show direction due to a lacuna created by our mandated leaders’ inaction. It was shameful for shameless people like Mutula Kilonzo to be caught on air bargaining for positions and taking sides when selfish interests should have been postponed for a later and appropriate date. Shame. Carol Mutoko came out to bring together her listeners by deftly side-stepping the directive banning all “live” broadcasts. Between seven and one pm of Monday, she was the only news outlet telling the nation what was going on. She gave her listeners a shoulder to cry on. All the pent-up national emotions of anger, confusion, aghast, betrayal and thankfully hope found a valve through her all-morning vigil. She sounded scared too, and it was therefore a mark of bravery and leadership, to put her self and the station on the line when bigger media houses had been cowed into submission. All call-ins on KISS FM are recorded as a matter of policy and therefore, so she was not affected by the ruling. In the New Year, Carol portrayed leadership by being on air for a full day and preaching the message of peace. KISS FM also developed an advert with the same message for calm and patriotism. Other media houses followed suit in the course of the day. By Wednesday, she had taken her crusade to the next level-she was urging the media to blackout any politicians that were grandstanding instead of preaching peace. Talk of the need to heal the wounds caused by the acrimonious elections will dominate the airwaves in the next few weeks, but I find such a call hollow and insincere if it’s not accompanied with some mechanism of sorting out the real or imagined injustice that sparked this national disaster in the first place. I expect that ECK will come out and offer some sort of explanation to this fiasco.